Searching 4 Path

Time Pressure

2011-03-17T04:09:00.002-04:00

It's 4 AM and I have the urge to write a post. Around 2 AM, I woke from my crammed, somewhat uncomfortable position on the couch due to a dream. In this dream, I received horrible news that two close family friends passed away. What a way to wake up. Dreams are just dreams right? All day long, I had this uneasy feeling that I am running out of time. That time is of essence. It's this nagging feeling that something bad is about to happen. Something is coming. Maybe this is all induced from work piling up; just plain stress.

I checked the news and browsed the web for couple of hours. Glad that Japan is still there and no catastrophic meltdowns had occurred while I was napping. The world of late has seen mother nature's destructive power in these recent years. Perhaps the rate of the occurrences of natural disaster has not increased, it's just that I paid more attention to them in my adult years. That and the instant coverages made available by advancements in technology from twitter, internet postings, facebook and uploaded video content made it all seem much closer even if the disaster occurred half way around the globe.

It's interesting how at some point in our lives, time becomes that much more relevant. For those that figured it out in the early years gained the most. For others like me, the pressure is on. Yes, I've heard it all before, "time is money", "you'll never get time back", etc, etc. But it's at one particular moment you notice the hourglass's got more sand at the bottom than at the top and that it's draining fast. Maybe today is that moment for me.

2009 - Things I Learned

2010-01-06T22:42:00.005-05:00

Retrospect.

Contemplation of the past; a survey of past time, events, etc. That's the definition from dictionary.com.

2009 was a fucking year. That's the first thing that popped into my mind if I had to summarize it in one simple sentence. I lost my dad early in the year and a friend at the end. Fucking year indeed. There's just no nice way to state it. Death sucks. Separation from those we know no matter if we had seen it coming or whether it took us by surprise doesn't make a difference, that feeling of your heart being squeezed to the point where you can't breathe is the same.

In 2009, I shed enough tears. I cried for my father who towards the end went through days that I was glad he is probably too out it from the pain killers. I cried for my mom for her loss of a life partner. I cried when my brother had to carry my dad into the rooms when he was too weak. I cried for all those arguments that I had with my father. When pop finally left his physical shell, I cried because I won't get to hold his hand again. But I felt relieved for him, that he no longer has to suffer. Cancer ended my dad's life at age 73 and these last 2 years have taught me lessons that I'll never forget. What will happen will happen, but there are preventive measures that one can take to spot early warning signs and do something about it before it gets out of hand. That's one thing I wished I should have pushed my father to do when he was diagnosed. Wished. Who knows if the outcome would've been any different. Suffering and dignity and the care of medical professions. Cancer doesn't just affect the one who has it. The disease affects all those around, mentally and physically. A good support group is crucial, not just for the patient but for all those involved.

I still have my yellow LiveStrong band on. I don't know when, if ever, I'll take it off. Whenever I see others, strangers walking down the street with the band on, I know that we are not total strangers, for we've been through similar experiences and most likely lost someone to cancer.

Untimely deaths, especially those of younger age is never easy to accept. Having lost a family member early in the year, I know what it's like for our family friends who lost their son at the age of 23. I lost a friend, more like a distant cousin, but truthfully, the impact of his death was not nearly as strong as my dad's was, understandably. But I deeply empathized for the parents. With no children of my own yet, I cannot truly fathom the loss of a child of own flesh and blood. But I can see that it's devastating. He live a good life. 23 years of age with tons of friends, dreams, fantasies and no real responsibilities yet, just starting out. No suffering.

We are all dying. From the day we were born, the clock has been ticking. The duration of one's time on earth is not the important part. Along the way, we'll meet and loose people around us. You keep going and enjoy that ice cream cone after a funeral. You take walks through the park and you laugh with those still with you when you can. Giggle when you find that stash of porn magazines of the lost friend. You find joy in the simplest things and take the time to spend it with those you care about when you can. You find it trivial to worry about views of others when you stand gazing at the magnificence of mother nature. You go do the things you've always wanted to do because you never know when it's time for you to move on to the next plane.

2009 我真的懂了什麼是珍惜什麼是挽惜什麼是心痛的滋味

I am not scared of dying. I am afraid that I haven't lived.

The Rejection E-Mail

2009-09-23T15:41:00.005-04:00

I had complete confidence after the interview was over that I was going to get selected for the job. Weekend passed, Monday came and went. No phone call. I still had hope. Tuesday morning, still no call nor missed call. Reality is creeping in a bit, hmm.. and that little voice mumbles "maybe you are not the one". By the time 5 PM rolled around and I still haven't heard a word, and knew then that most likely they've decided to go with others.

As the night rolled on, I said oh well and moved on with my daily routine. Suddenly, I see the new email notification box pop up. And there it is, an email from my interviewer informing me that they have selected another candidate.

I guess part time sales clerk at a computer store is not my calling after all.

REI Super Clearance

2008-08-23T13:25:00.004-04:00

Wow, I had a field day at REI yesterday. I've been in an REI store several times before but never shopped for over 1 hour and definitely never bought anything prior. August 22nd marked the first day of Super Clearance day for 2008. We didn't get to the store at 10 am so I had my doubts of what items I will find in the store. Fortunately, after combing the 50% off racks for over 2 hours, I was able to grab some very light weight jackets for around $30 dollars. What made me even happier was that finally, I found a store where the cut and fit of the clothing actually flatters me without needing any tailoring after the purchase.

I was so thrilled with the purchases that I've decided to become an REI member in order to get in on the 4x a year garage sales!

OOO... October! Can't wait!

CineMix

2008-07-28T04:43:00.001-04:00

I am listening to my favorite online radio station right now - http://www.cinemix.fr/ - found this station while looking through live365.com and what a great station. The hosting guy plays all these great movie scores that are very similar to my tastes. There's a neat live feature that shows you who is currently visiting the site and it's kinda comforting to see there are others like myself with similar interests out there in various corners of the world enjoying beautiful compositions at the exact same moment in these wee hours in the morning.

I am not alone.

The Start of Something Else

2008-06-08T02:27:00.002-04:00

Okay, quickly spinning through the events of the day. Worked from 11 AM - 5 PM today. It was boring. Why? Because business was molasses slow. One of the co-workers and I were waiting to leave for good part of that 6 hour shift. Good thing I was prepared for the lack of customers by bringing a book with me to read. The gas price literally changed before our eyes today jumping another 5 cents to 3.999 at the BP station across the street. Damn! $4 gas here we go! Of course the cheapest gas is the only thing I can afford right now, not that I would pay for premium on regular basis. So glad I don't really need to commute by car these days.

$16 bucks from tips yesterday for 3 hours of work. And today was worse, only $20 dollars by our count. Even the owners didn't want to come into after their son's graduation ceremony. Yah that slow. So I am avg like less than $6 bucks an hour with wages. I wonder if the sushi place downtown is hiring. Hope the business will pick up so that working is actually worth the minimum measly wage.

On other note, today marks Hillary Clinton's full endorsement of Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama. I didn't get to hear her speech first hand but read the blow by blow transcript online just now and it sounded pretty good, sincere and hopeful.

“Please don’t go there. Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from moving forward. Life is too short, time is too precious and the stakes are too high to dwell on what might have been.”

Yes, indeed, we can all benefit from that reminder in all facets of life. Do not waste time looking backwards, life is too short. I am sure that part of her speech will be quoted decades from now in books of history. Thank you Hillary Clinton for making an effort. However, there was one part of her speech that I sarcastically smirked at, the part about equality.

“Let us resolve and work toward achieving some very simple propositions: there are no acceptable limits and there are no acceptable prejudices in the 21st century in our country.”

Hillary, I know you realize that there are gay women and will you be standing up for those women as well for equal rights?

No candidate is perfect in addressing everyone's concerns. However, I do hope one day that we'll truly achieve what Hillary Clinton has mentioned today, that there are no acceptable prejudices. But my hopes for equality are not only for those of us who lives now, but also for the future generations yet to come.

Ta-da Lists vs Remeber The Milk

2008-05-23T16:37:00.002-04:00

Several weeks ago, I was quite disappointed when I couldn't log into my Ta-da Lists account, a service which I've used for the past year, where I can create lists for things I needed to get done. The simple, clean, user friendly interface was what attracted me to the site to augment my memory and keep track of things. That disappointment was then turned to frustration when I tried to find a 'Contact Us' or Help link on the website itself. Not sure if making the user search for help/contact us was the intentional design, if it is, they sure have done a great job. Finally, I found a generic email address to send my comments to. In the email, I mentioned that I have been having problems logging into my account and was wondering if it was because I've maxed out the number of lists/items that can go into a single account. I still have yet to hear from them.

In desperation, I searched for a Ta-da List replacement and that's when I found my new love - Remember The Milk. Great site name by the way. Remember The Milk when compared to Ta-da list, it is definitely the more advanced version. You can set dates, time estimations, priorities among other things to a particular task. Even more impressive is that they have the hooks into other sites such as Google Calendar. I tried the Google Calendar hook and then immediately disabled it after getting paranoid about things linking into my private accounts which can contain more sensitive information than simple lists.

What impressed me the most was the customer service. The help screens are easy to find and my questions submitted through email were answered within a couple of days and to my satisfaction too!

Other uber useful feature is the search. I like being able to perform a text search for tasks.

Thanks Ta-da Lists for your free service. It was great for me but I bid you goodbye for I've converted to a Remember The Milk user.

* I am not paid for this write up. Just an average user describing my experiences.

05/12/08 - The Day The Earth Rumbled

2008-05-20T01:35:00.003-04:00

In times of disaster, one often feels so helpless. I am very fortunate to be on this side of the globe same in my home, clothed comfortably in cotton with a roof over my head and blankets to keep me warm throughout the night.

Every little bit helps and wanting that donation to go directly to the people in need is always a major concern. A fellow blogger has put together a slide on organizations that are taking donations to help with the disaster relief in China. Please take a look and donate:

http://www.docstoc.com/docs/599398/China-Earthquake-relief-efforts

Bedtime Activites

2008-05-09T09:17:00.005-04:00

I can't decide which time I enjoy more, laying in bed before sleeping or laying in bed after waking. No need to make one do I? I love sinking down, all covered up with cotton including the feet and just burrow into the covers. The pillows are fluffed to perfection, with the second pillow waiting by the side in case I need to change the head elevation. Darkness surrounds me except for the areas casted by that warm yellow glow coming from the little lamp placed closed enough so I can reach over and turn it on and off.
After completely satisfying digging a comfortable position in bed, comes my favorite part: indulging the mind. I know most 'experts' warn people not to perform other activities in bed besides sleeping.. well or other bodily things, but poo poo to the experts. Reading or listening to the radio while I am laying there in my pjs are something I enjoy immensely. Without other distractions, my mind seems to pickup more. More insights from passages, more details from the melodies, just more.

Semantics

2008-04-30T22:59:00.002-04:00

Tolerance, will our generation actually see much advance on it? I sure hope so. And the whole thing about pushing marriage to be defined as tbetween a man and a woman, I haven't quite sorted out the feelings about it. I mean why should both sides be so worked up about semantics, but then it's all the implied things that goes along with the word 'marriage' that I guess everyone is fighting over. For me, if I get the same rights and benefits as a 'married' couple I can care less what you want to call it. And in part I think it's a big sarcastic joke against those that withheld the belief that marriage has to be between a man and a woman. Why do I say that? Because say for example, a woman decides she really is a guy born in the wrong body so she goes and have a sex change. Viola, instead of Jane, she becomes John. She now can go get 'married' to her long time girlfriend.

So are those people that say marriage is between a man and a woman really saying as long as you got a penis bonded to a vagina then let's call it 'marriage'? Or are they saying as long as you have a piece of paper that states one 'male' and one 'female' then it's a marriage?

Perhaps down the road we'll see a shift in the battle. The controversy will be how we define our 'gender'. Is your gender identification based on physical attributes, mental identification, or as whatever is stated on a piece of paper?

Tumble

2008-04-29T22:52:00.001-04:00

It was a bit freaky to witness my painted ceramic car fell from its perch on the Anthrocart to the floor. Amazingly, it survived the fall without breaking into pieces. Wait, let me double check. Yep, not a scratch or a chip. Amazing. Thank goodness my room is full of crap, useful crap that is. I do not know why did the car fall considering I have not move the desk at all and I am pretty sure that there was not a mini earthquake. Freaky, yo. Anyways, it went nose first and hit my little letter box, then it bounced towards the right which it then collided with the magnetic stuffed words lined the upper portion of one of the Anthrocart poles. Bouncing off of that it slide down the wall, its descent slowed by the Aiwa earphones. Finally it landed on the wood floors. Amazing. I just hope it's not some warning of some kind.

Fellow Dreamers of Toilets

2008-04-25T23:17:00.004-04:00

It has been a while since I had the list of fellow bloggers who also dreamed of toilets and thought about the implied meaning of the white porcelain chair.

Now comes the time to archive this list in a blog entry and remove it from the side frames:

Anduin's Word: Dreams
ChAoS CeNtRaL
okkaywarner
banibear
missgoodey
Aberdoos
tiarella
lisa102373
Vern
BombayJen
CApoppy
holyhoses
Lisa
anni2pink
turtleheart.net
jadeisms

Flash Content

2008-04-25T22:55:00.004-04:00

It's wonderful how there seems to be a new service popping up every single day, feeding and enabling amateurs like myself to publish more personal content on the web. Tonight, I was introduced to a new beta service - Sprout Builder - which allows building Flash creations using mainly drag and drop user interface. Beautiful!

I spent a good hour or so playing around with its features, which are quite adequate for the the most of us. There are some great looking Flash creations from users and it's amazing to see what can be designed using the building blocks provided.

The only thing that really made me hesitate on using Sprout Builder in the future is section 7b which talks about the user submissions and how by posting, you are automatically granting certain rights to Sprout Builder. That part, I really did not like.

So from this point on, I'll just be using the site to create Flash projects that will not include photos or videos or any original forms of artwork which I would want to retain all the rights.

Still, thanks Sprout Builder for this great service. If anyone from Sprout Builder is reading, which I highly doubt, but just in case, please let users retain exclusive rights regarding their submissions, such as video or images. You can provide an option for users to selectively grant various license permission settings if they wish. If you do that, I'll definitely use the service more often and I bet many others will also be more willing to display their work using Sprout Builder.

Here's my simple little slide show of the salamander in the yard.

Unexpected Residents

2008-04-25T12:08:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, was one of my better days in the past 3 weeks. A day where I felt close to being relatively healthy versus being plagued by mysterious slightly elevated body temperature, body aches and thicker post nasal drips. So, dressed in my outdoor gear of choice - navy blue Mickey Mouse sweatshirt, with a green T from Children's Place and completed by a pair of forest green Children's Place fleece sweatpants, I joined my mom in the front yard on a gorgeous 72 degree Spring day.

The activity goal for the day was to plant these little flowers into the severely dry grounds on the front lawn underneath this big old tree (which my brother thinks it's on it's last legs, so to speak). My contribution was to peel the degradable wrappers around the nursery plants and plant them into the holes my 59 year old mom has dug out. What! I was feeling weak! Anyways, squatting there and half way through the tray, I got a little surprise. Peeling away the wrappers, I saw these 2 slimly dark gray worm like things on the bottom of the plant entangled in the roots. Those are not worms my friend. Kinda looked like little snakes. I sat the plant down and carefully peeled away the rest of the wrappings. That's when I saw there were 2 of these little creatures, whatever they are. They have 4 feet each and a little head.

I should've have ran into the house to get my camera that second but instead, I separated them from the roots. Freed them is what I've done I like to think and used the same twig to pull them out on the ground so I can take a closer look. I think they are some type of a precursor to a frog? My mom stayed away for she's afraid of slimy things. By the time I finally realized that this is a great photo op, one of them already went into hiding so I only had the chance to do my photo Safari thing with 1 of the creatures.

Here it is:

It was a great photography experience and practice trying to shoot this little thing which can run really fast when it wants to.

MinuteClinic

2008-04-11T17:16:00.003-04:00

Several weeks ago, I was feeling downright miserable. I was having heavy chest congestion and coughing up globs of thick, yellow, blood streaked sputum (the medical term for - phlegm, as I found out). Lovely images aren't they? Afraid that I was going to pass something to my dad, I went looking for doctors in the area. And "wham!", doors slam in my face, cyber doors, as I tried to call to make appointments with a doc. As soon as I mentioned the word, uninsured, I was told that many of the docs will not see patients who does not have insurance.

Lucky for me, I had a friend who gave me a good suggestion of going to one of those walk in clinics like the ones that CVS has called MinuteClinic. I logged on immediately and saw that yes, they do have strep throat tests, so off I went. Below are my impressions from my own visit to MinuteClinic.

Unfortunately, not all locations of CVS will have a MinuteClinic for they are probably testing out the MinuteClinic idea. If you are listening CVS, do more advertisements!! Especially online! I tried searching for "walk in clinics" or clinics in general and MinuteClinic never came up! Anyways, I digress. So I walked up to CVS located at X and immediately noticed that there's this little MinuteClinic posted on the CVS window. I walked in and the MinuteClinic is located next to the Pharmacy area. There's a little room with a check-in counter outside of it. Everything is computerized. The check-in kiosk prompts the patient for a series of general information, very similar to the ones you would fill out at a doctor's office. Name, addres, phone number, reason for visit, and so and so. For those that are not computer literate, I am sure the MinuteClinic doctor will be able to help, but overall the process is pretty simple and easy. When you are done registering yourself, your name is placed in a queue.

The entire registration process took less than 5 minutes for me. If you are bad at typing, it'll probably take you a little longer.

I was the only person there at the time, so I was first in line. No wait time at all.

The doc greeted me into his office. A 9x9 little space, very clean, very much like the one you usually sit in while you wait for your family doctor, except everything is spaced a bit tighter. As I walk in, to my left is a long counter where supplies are kept. The immediate left corner is occupied by the doctor with his computer, printer, and Visa machine. There are couple of chairs in the room, no lounge bed to lie on. The room looks neat and clean.

Next, the doc closes the door for patient privacy. With the door closed, you forget that you are actually inside a CVS store. Instead it looks just like many of the 'regular' doctors office, only much newer. Yes, you know what I am talking about.

The doc pulled up my info on the computer and starts to take some preliminary history and to understand what's ailing me. I explained I have this horrible chest congestion and cough for almost a week now and that my main concern is that I might have strep throat. He listened carefully and took my blood pressure, looked into my ears, eyes and throat. The doc said he doesn't think I have strep instead that I probably just have an upper respiratory infection and the cough is due to the post nasal drip that I have which is irritating my throat thus making me cough. But course, he went and explained the two different types of diagnostic tests available to
test for strep and went to explain both the quick strep test and the strep culture. I opted to do both. The quick strep test was easy, swab the back of my throat and 5 minutes later it showed that I was negative for strep. But being the anal person that I am, I went for another swab to be sent out for the culture.

I asked some questions about strep, and sinus infection and bronchitis. The doctor patiently answered my questions.

Towards the end of my visit, the doc printed out some prescriptions for me to take to dry up the post nasal drip and to help with thinning out the phlegm.

I paid for my office visit using a credit card. My prescriptions, medical history, info on strep throat and upper respiratory infection were printed out from the in room printer.

40 minutes and $99 dollars later I was out of the MinuteClinic, breathing a little bit easier now knowing I don't have strep.

So overall for me, MinuteClinic is a great thing. Good for those non-threatening ailments and definitely beats going to ER for a simple test like strep. I hope that United States will expand on walk-in clinics especially since this is about the only way the uninsured or those paying out of pocket will be able to see a doctor within a reasonable amount of time without going to an ER for simple illnesses.

And hopefully, these types of clinics will be expanded so they can take on a variety of cases that might require uses of X-Rays.

Proportions and All That Hair

2008-03-27T23:01:00.003-04:00

"Well, don't you just look like one of those Asian boys with the big hair and little body", was my initial reaction when I saw myself in the mirror first thing in the morning. Time for a haircut, indeed. Lucky for me, my genes probably will ensure that I have a full head of hair even when I age to my 80s. The hair on my head grows at a steady pace. Hmmm, if I were to wager, I would say about an inch a month of hair sprouts out of my head. Other places of my body, hair grows a bit slower. I wonder why that is? Take for example, since it's the winter, well fine, it has been winter for the last several of months, I've forgo the weekly shaving ritual to give myself more insulation against the cold, cold weather we have up here in the North. First the leg hair grew fast, but then it just stopped. Did my body somehow told the skin on the leg to stop growing hair where it's not really needed? I mean how does the body determine where and how fast to grow the hair?

But summer will be approaching soon, that's when I'll need to bring out the little scissors to give myself a trim before picking up the razor and shave. I've always wanted to do some sort of artistic trimming of the hair, say create interesting patterns with the hair. Maybe this time I'll finally have enough material to work with.

Doctor, Doctor

2008-03-18T22:02:00.002-04:00

Sitting here after 5 hours or so of sorting and paying bills, I have to admit I need to find a job soon to make some $ so that at least the outflow of money can be stenched somewhat. Unemployment does have its drawbacks.

Another thing I just realized is that in the last 9 months, the faces of my dad's doctors are more familiar to me than the faces of my friends in the last 5 years. Guess that's not a good thing eh? In this day and age, how many times do you actually get to see your friends per year? Maybe 2x if you live within 1 neighboring state?

New Color Scheme

2008-03-16T22:08:00.002-04:00

I spent sometime today updating the color scheme of my blog. Inspired by some recent photos I took of the plants, green I've decided is the main color to build on.

I like it so far, it's a little more... quiet? Compared to the previous bright version.

I wonder if people can make money making templates for blog sites? Perhaps.

我被兩位才子吸引住了

2008-03-16T21:49:00.004-04:00

Most of the Chinese pop music are rather boring for me. It's mostly about puppy love and somehow perhaps with the aging process I grew out of that phase in search for something else. Something more meaningful, deeper, and timeless. Don't get me wrong, I am still a big fan of pop music, but I want to listen to songs that will distract me from typing or browsing; songs that don't become background music. 方文山 and 周杰倫 are two of the talents hot on the scene right now. I love some of their collaborations. The end product of the lyrics and the composition creates an all day YouTube replay of songs such as:

青花瓷 - current favorite right now - not the video, just the song
千里之外
菊花台

Poetry comes in many forms and these two modern day poets/songwriters have introduced millions to the beauty of words.

The Protected Gets Justice

2008-03-10T20:35:00.002-04:00

Last week, some very unlucky golfer and an even more unfortunate hawk made headlines when the golfer kills the hawk on his tenth swing. Whether or not it was accidental is still up in the air. But what amused and angered me was that the sentencing for killing a protected animal is at least a year in jail plus fines right off the bat. But as killing a fellow man? Even when it's blatantly first degree murder, the law when it deals with humans, will still require many many months of bs in court while that murderer is being housed and fed by tax payers. After many months, if not years until finally one side gets through all the 'legal' BS, the murderer will finally be sentenced or sometimes even set free.

It's good to be one of the protected.

How Lazy Are We?

2008-02-19T14:37:00.003-05:00

Just read about the Orgasmatron on Gizmodo.

Okay people how freaking lazy can you get!!! $12,000 for a device that will give you instant orgasms? Maybe this mechanism will be the one to kick start a new generation of humans who will view sex as

Future generations of humans will be able to get instant orgasms without all the messiness. Carnal pleasures are made to be so deliciously irresistible for the species so that we seek out mates to copulate to ensure out genetic lines will be passed on and that our species will survive.

As I was showering, I thought about how maybe this device isn't just for the lazy. Here are some very practical applications of the Orgasmatron (great brand name by the way):

- Bored during conference calls, bored no more! Press a little button and you'll snap to attention to ensure you at least catch the finishing speech.
- How about that long commute home on a Friday night? The traffic is ten miles long and the road crew decides to crap on your day some more by choosing this night to repaint the lines.
- It's been a long, tiring day but you are feeling rather horny, yet you don't feel like wrestling with your mate? No worries, Orgasmatron to the rescue!

If sex toys like these become more affordable for the general population, will the female population eventually choose machines over human partners for sexual gratification for 80% the time? Will the human population eventually dwindle? Will there be laws that prohibits driving while sensory circuits are overloaded? Now that, that would be an interesting law to write up.

咖啡王子1號店

2008-02-13T23:27:00.000-05:00

看了這場韓劇有好多感慨劇情是繞著幾對年輕人的愛情故事主角有四位一對是比較成熟的愛另一對是初戀那一種第一次墜入愛河的好愛你的愛這齣韓劇不一樣的地方是不會太托拖拉拉的演技都不會太誇張演出的劇情很逼真像是在那都可以發生的裡面一位女主角外表常常讓人看起來像男生給人誤會但是她並不在意只想做好她的事多鑽一點錢養家我很能體驗那個角色因為我覺得她好像我但是我沒有那麼開朗她暗戀卻又講不出來的時候那種心酸我能體會當她整個人崩潰蹲在地上痛哭時蓋住痛的好像要撕裂的心時我記的男主角們再開車時哭的時後也好感動因為自己也有那樣哭過當時帶了眼鏡不知哭的那麼利害時為何還會想到是否會出車禍因為眼淚已把視線模糊鏡片也矇矇的

尹恩惠的演技在這齣戲裡讓我刮目相看孔侑的演技也是值得尊敬的這兩位尤其是演到重感情部分時好好看
好欣賞導演和編劇作家

"我喜歡你，你是男人也好，是外星人也好，我都不管，感情整理太辛苦了，我做不到，讓我們一起走下去吧走到能走的地步"
佩服主角對愛情的執著, 勇敢的愛, 不管世人對他的看法. 如有一天當愛在我面前時, 我會有那份勇氣去緊緊抱住那份愛嗎?

Making A Statement

2008-02-04T02:40:00.000-05:00

I love Pink's voice and all that she has to say in this ballsy, heartfelt song. Power on girl, power on.

Jabs at America

2008-01-04T21:53:00.000-05:00

I just got back from watching Tom Hank's new movie Charlie Wilson's War. Loved the quote which wrapped up the film, "Those things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world. And then we fucked up the endgame.".

It's a sad and bitterly sarcastic line, but it does make one think about our current situation. History repeats itself, especially for those that have not learned from previous mistakes.

It's amusing to me that the two recent movies I've watched Rush Hour 3 and Charlie Wilson's War (although different genera and style) both managed to jab America's hand in wars.

I wonder if this cycle of fighting will ever cease. Probably not. Everyone's got an agenda. Everyone wants to protect and defend. Each to their own and round and round we go.

Cold And Then There's Cold

2008-01-03T23:57:00.000-05:00

This past couple of days has been awfully nippy. I was just out for merely 10 minutes and my fingers which were engulfed in my huge Hellboy claw look-a-like gloves were approaching frozen grade!

I hate being cold. It immobilizes me, rendering me well.. immobile. Tropics... temp above 70 degrees makes me the happiest. I started to look at some of the anatomy sites out there to see maybe it's time I get serious and think about what to do for this year. Writing letters to people, I didn't have much to update. Look at that, it's midnight already.

2008

2008-01-01T23:28:00.000-05:00

Well well well, 2008 is finally here. The crossover from 07 to 08 was celebrated through a simple round of "Happy New Year!" at midnight, almost 24 hours ago. I heard fireworks going off but didn't see any through the windows. Hey I just remember I didn't even look at the countdown on TV. Scanning docs was what I was doing in my room. But here it is, 2008. I sure hope this is a better year than 2007. Ah, what will the new year bring? Made some resolutions, would like to complete those by 2009. Dam.. another year has come and went. A lot of things has happened in the last year. Big changes for my entire family. But the good thing is we are all still here and that's the sweet spot.

2008, may this be the turnaround year for the better. Here's to good health and happiness!

Get ready? Set. Go!

Welcome Back

2007-12-13T15:02:00.000-05:00

Well, sitting alone in separate rooms is not the way I envisioned my dad's first day back from the most recent hospital stay. But nothing ever goes as planned does it? Too many fights. I am so tired. Rather than blowing up and talking back, I picked up the laptop and escaped to the kitchen, leaving my dad sitting in the lower level. Was I right to do that? Am a terrible daughter for it? Questions that haunts me every day. Playbacks of fights, conversations, the silence forces me to constantly judge my own actions and behaviour. What does it mean to be a good child? Is it the role of the caregiver, emotional support, or the decision maker? Perhaps a combination of all of the above, much like being a parent or the better half in a relationship. When do I cross that line from being over controlling versus letting the person you care for do whatever they think is right? Is it disrespectful or belittling to your elders, especially your parent when you point out what you think they are doing wrong when you have their best interest at heart?

I don't know.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-23T00:29:00.000-05:00

While I was sitting in the patients family and friends room tonight, the 700 Club came on. The host of the show was talking about how many of us have forgotten the true meaning of Thanksgiving that it's not to thank the Native Americans but that it was first established by the president to thank the Lord for the country and all the things that make the country a great one.

For those of us that are not as religious I think Thanksgiving is expanded to thanking whatever we feel like is worth thanking. Friends, family, God, Buddha, or all that gave us strength and brought on some happiness. Could be our pets too.

This year, walking down the empty hallways of the hospital, I thought about the men and women in the medical profession. I still view the medical profession as one of the most respected and honorable fields to go into. How great it is to know that what you do each day directly makes an impact on someone else's lives? You relieve pain, you give comfort, you provide support to not only the patients themselves but also their circle of support.

Thank you, nurses and doctors everywhere. Thank you.

Surgery Date and The Waiting

2007-11-20T07:34:00.000-05:00

5:01 AM, the non annoying sound of my alarm sounds. I was dreaming. Of what I can't quite recall, something with my mom and my brother in the same room with me talking about something. It's time to get up.

6:03 AM, we pulled into the parking lot.

Our arrival was announced through the entire hospital by my incredibly squeaky sneakers. Tried as I might to walk quietly the squeaking continues. Pop was wide awake already. He complained of poor sleep all night due to the snoring from his roommate. Which I have to agree, the gentlemen is rather loud. No wonder his son couldn't get much shuteye.

Two jackets did the trick to cover up the openings of the gown so that his bare ass and back are covered. He's not comfortable displaying the family jewels. Hell I would be too. Now that he's more modestly covered, we made our way down the hall, around the corner to the patient family room to make some phone calls. Pop called auntie and mom overseas to assure them everything will be okay and that we'll call after the surgery.

Almost two years later, we are again prepping for surgery to deal with pop's cancer. This time around things are much different. We had time to prepare for the battle adequately this year. The chemo, the rests in between, the time he had to condition his body to a healthier state should prepare him much better for the operation. Me too, I had more time to prepare. This time, I am not boarding a plane the day before the surgery, rushing from US back to Taiwan. I still remember that flight in 2004. The whole time on the plane, I was hoping we will not get delayed so that I can make it to the hospital in time to see pops before he goes under the knife. The doctor wanted to wait for me as well to see my dad. That was not comforting at all to know your father's doctor wanted to give you a chance to see him before surgery starts. As soon as I got off the plane, it was a mad dash to run to customs, praying that the lines were not long. I was already an hour late according to the scheduled operation time. Grabbing my luggage, finally headed out toward the gates to see who came to pick me up. Cousin Charles waved me down and after some pleasantry exchanges, he drove like a wannabe race driver, while calling my aunt at the hospital to inform her the pickup has been made and we are on our way there.

Not much conversation during the car ride. Hearts were heavy and really there's not much needed to be said at this point. Finally, when we arrived at the hospital, my uncle in law was waiting for me outside the hospital to usher me in, through the mazes to get to my dad.

The first thing I noticed when I stepped into that hospital room back in 2004 was how flushed my dad looked. His bloodshot eyes and his red face, a sure sign of his skyrocketing blood pressure. After dropping off my backpack and reassurance to my dad, I was rushed to see the surgeon. My aunt came with me this time. The surgeon came out of one of the OR rooms and still with his mask on explained how there are risks to the surgery, especially the stress that will be placed on his heart. He'll do his best.

With much fanfare, my dad was placed on the stretcher and along we go, the whole gang of his friends and family trailing along to see him off to the OR room. 2008, the trip to the OR was quiet in comparison. Just my brother and I with the nurses to escort him to the elevator. One short ride up to the second floor and it was time to see him off. I just said we'll be waiting for him on the third floor. He nodded and made a sound to indicate he heard.

Now we wait. The surgery was scheduled to start at 8:30 AM and last roughly 3.5 hours.

The wait begins.

We Are In

2007-11-19T18:40:00.001-05:00

This morning started at 6:01 am when my alarm sang out from my cellphone. Semi awake, I turned off the alarm and plopped back to the makeshift bed on the floor. 10 minutes later, my dad walks in and informs me it's 6:30 am, which I doubted immediately since I just fell back down into the warm blankets.

Ten more minutes, I snoozed. 20 more minutes later we were on our way to checkin at the hospital on this brisky, cold, Monday morning of November. Philly did not get any snowfall overnight, surprisingly. By 10:30, we were checked into the temporary room for the night. Liquid diet is to be followed for today. Some sort of a laxative was given to my dad to help him clear out the bowel. We have a roommate. An elderly gentlement who has gone through rounds of radiation and chemo and will be moving into a rehibilatory facility to help him regain strength of his muscles.

My brother ordered cable TV for my dad's entertainment. But in reality it's mostly for our entertainment. Much of what's on TV these days have dialogue that's hard for my father to follow. So instead, he gets to listen to Chinese news via the internet. Oh thank goodness for free WIFI at this hospital! Bless them.

Good wishes were expressed throughout the day by phone from family and friends. Most of them said with assuring tone that everything should go smoothly. Were the assurance for them, for me, or for my dad? Probably for all of us. I know things will go ok.

The Night Before

2007-11-18T22:04:00.000-05:00

I was jolted out of my dream world by the the sound of my father's voice in the next room. The dream was something about playing cards with a bunch of co-worker/friends and then all of a sudden, we find out one of the friends died from something. Strange, but it's a dream so I wonder what does death signify, if anything?

My parents are conversing via GoogleTalk. The marvels of technology is truly convenient and cheap too. An one hour call between the States and China on mobile would've cost quite a bit. But with messaging clients, we can go on for hours.

Oh God.. very very disturbing image on TV. Duran Duran lead singer is wearing a pair of pants that's show casing which way he hangs. Righty eh mate? I don't care if you are a gorgeous Greek God, there's no need for anyone to see the silhouette of your nuts poking about the crotch of your pants.

Anyways... tis the night before check in date. Tomorrow we'll head to the hospital to check in for the surgery on Tuesday. I don't' know how anxious my dad is feeling, haven't really asked him. I am somewhat feeling detached. As if this is just another day to day routine. Perhaps it's my way of not getting too emotional.

It's an early day tomorrow. Time to head to bed.

Alarms and Dreams

2007-11-15T10:56:00.000-05:00

I have forgotten the alarm on my cell was set for 6:01 am each day. Why the heck would I want to wake up that early? To remind my dad that he has to take his antibiotics. But, after rude awakenings this morning, that alarm has now been turned off.

Although it did help me preserve what I dreamed of this morning. Not necessarily good dreams. Visits of past memories that haunts me every now and then. What would've if things were different. The other dream was about driving in a little car, possibly the Honda Fit and accidentally scraping against a parked car by the side of the hill as I tried to squeeze pass them. Guess I, my car are not as slim as I'd thought. Immediately I got out of the car, rushed to the sorry vehicle that I rammed into. The scraping didn't' do much damage to the body. The metal left door panel on the sedan took all the heat. It was slightly indented but unfortunately enough so that the door can't really be opened. The passengers of the car were okay. An Indian woman and her mother was about to go somewhere. Not anymore, plans ruined and insurance companies were called to deal with the accident. Strangely, the next segment of my dream was like a 3 minute sales pitch of AllState using the story of how the insurance company took care of the lady so that she was better off than before the accident. I can't believe the dam commercials are getting into my dreams!! WTF..

Anyways... hmm it's already 4 hours since I've been awake. Skimmed some Black Friday ads and deal sites. Started back to scan more paper and toss things I really don't need to keep.

Purging is a good process for the psyche.

ScanSnap S510 - My New Love

2007-11-14T13:18:00.000-05:00

Hmmm.... does it make me pathetic to call the sexy little black number my new love? Whatever, it's my life and if I decide the black and silver plastic mechanism is the one that captures my heart at the moment then so be it.

I waited impatiently for the UPS man to arrive with my package yesterday. As soon as the brown truck pulled along the side of the curb, I was out the door greeting the delivery man. First glimpse of my new office mate was quite exciting. Come to think of it, I should've taken a picture with the UPS man holding my spanking new ScanSnap S510, although he probably wouldn't have time to spare since this is holiday season and all - many more packages to deliver.

I want to clarify, this is a document scanner we are talking about.. not some other plastic mechanism. PG people.. PG...

Ah.. I was giggly when I first held my love. It's packaging was just about the same size as my XP Shuttle. Quite tiny. Once I safely carried it into my room, it was time to examine the goods.
Out came the instruction manual, the warranty card, the power, and then... behold.. the main prize - tada! My own super duper scanner. Bliss. Total bliss. I took several snapshots of this glorious occasion with my camera. These are the moments worth remembering.

Yes, Christmas has came early for me. If you are not troubled by the endless amounts of paper piled up in your office, in the endless folders crammed into the cabinets and desk drawers, you'll have little appreciation for any type of scanning equipment. If you are one of the lucky ones, this post will not be too interesting. But if you share my enthusiasm to reduce paper records, read on!

Gotten a little off track there, here we go, back to the magnificent machine.

There are several CDs that came with the machine, the Acrobat 8 Standard (with supported languages: Brazilian, Portuguese, Norwegian, Italian, Spanish, Dutch, English, French, and German), the ABBYY FineReader for ScanSnap 3.0, ScanSnap S510 Setup CD, and the trial version of Rack2-Filer V4.0. A little good follower of steps and procedures, I actually opened the manual and read the instructions to setup my ScanSnap. The process was relatively straightforward. Install the Acrobat, the ABBYY FineReader, the ScanSnap apps, and then plug in the scanner to the computer and power it on.

Once the little green button lights up, it was time to give it a whirl. Where to start? I have so many things to scan in. After a 10 second deliberation, I decided to tackle my medical files from several years back. Reading from other posts that staple holes sometimes can jam the feeder, I was careful to remove the staples from the pages and did a quick smoothing out of the punctured holes. Once my preferences for Scan button was set, it was time to scan.

Placed the document on the feeder and one press of the big, green button. Before I even had the chance to get out of my chair and do my happy dance while singing "Happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy!" the first page of my document was already scanned, sitting pretty in the designated folder, all ready for me to rename it to my liking.

Fast! So fast!

Within 3 hours, I think I've scanned and organized over 150 pages already. And 90% of that time was spent OCRing, renaming the PDF files, moving them to the correct folders. Pretty dam impressive. If I had to use my flatbed, I would've probably only gotten through 30 pages over that same period.

The OCR is great and the ScanSnap manager software is quite easy to use. The scanned documents using scan image 'Better' was good enough for me.

If anyone is looking for a document scanner, that's fast and simple to use, I highly recommend getting a Fujitsu ScanSnap S510 (windows, for those in the Mac tribe, look for S510M). I purchased this scanner for documents only. For my photos, I will still stick to using a flatbed for the sole reason that not matter what, for photos, I do not like the idea of anything moving touching the photos.

Now, I just need to find a good place to safely store all my electronic data... that's for another day and another research project.

Invest in a good document scanner and be on your merry way to becoming clutter free!

Stress

2007-11-12T19:48:00.000-05:00

Stress can come in many forms and fashions. Devious little things.

Recent family drama upped my blood pressure a bit. The mantra "breathe, just breathe, calm down...think of happy things..." is repeated over and over, that and flashes of Xena videos pops into mind, noticeably distracting me.

I never got how people can relieve stress by shopping or eating, but I think I do now. It's a way of release some pent up energy. All that explosive feelings gotta go somewhere! I didn't binge eat, but I did decide to treat myself and make the most expensive purchase I've made so far .. I stress so far.. this year .... *drum rolls*.... one Fujitsu ScanSnap S510 coming right up!

Pretty pissed I'd say when I found out the Amex MyWishList is not offering Amazon coupons cuz I passed up the Newegg.com deal couple weeks ago when they had the ScanSnap with $50 rebate. But, I guess the S510 model is going to be replaced soon because the $50 dollar rebate is back again! So after much deliberation and rational justification to myself about how it'll save me so much time when I can scan over 15 ppm vs 1 with my current 6 years old flatbed, get rid of most of the paper and the stacks of magazines sitting there collecting dust, the credit card whipped out and the Finish button was pressed to send my beloved Fujitsu into my open waiting arms. The purchase for my latest office gear was made at 1 am this morning. I wonder how fast my lovely will get to me..

It's amazing to find kindred spirits through the blogs. There are many of us out there that feel the need to scan and keep keep documents/articles/magazines... and the best part is that I'll be able to search through them once they are OCRed!!! Now that's cool. I can't wait to see how well the OCR will pick up the scanned magazine pages. I will pace myself and start with 30 pages of scanning a day. That should be around 3 minutes of scanning and then possibly 1 hour of renaming the documents. Ahh.... about 1 thousand pages to get rid of... would take me roughly 35 hours? Not bad at all! Under 2 months I should be able to get rid of 80% of the paper. Sweet!!!!!

I feel better now.

Fujitsu ScanSnap Reviews

2007-11-10T07:21:00.000-05:00

Thought I share a list of reviews written by people who actually uses it:

One extremely detailed entry on how the Fujitsu ScanSnap cleared up his paper world. But oh, there's lots more, keep reading the comments below the article and you'll discover options about backing up files and one mega paper cutter:
http://www.43folders.com/2007/11/06/palimpsest-guide-mostly-paperless-life

Workflows using ScanSnap
http://www.43folders.com/2007/10/23/fujitsu-scansnap-workflow

ScanSnap
http://www.gordonmeyer.com/2007/11/my-paperless-of.html

MacWorld's review
http://www.macworld.com/2005/12/reviews/fujitsuscansnap/index.php

ITReview's review
http://www.itreviews.co.uk/hardware/h1034.htm

Another review by a Mac User
http://www.noendpress.com/vroman/review/fujitsu-scansnap-S500M-review.php

Sold on it yet?

The Quest for the Ultimate Document Scanner

2007-11-09T23:34:00.000-05:00

Moving, packing and unpacking should be ranked up there as effective ways of torture.

Truly everyone can agree that faced with any of the above tasks, you'd rather scrub the toilet, clean out that fridge, or even sit down and schedule all your bill payments for the next month. Having done all three gruesome exercises multiple times within the last 3 months, I have come to a decision that, really, I can do without a lot of things. Call it an epiphany or perhaps I am just sick of lugging stuff around, but seriously there's just too much stuff!

Oh the big items are the easy ones to deal with to organize.. but what about all the trinkets!! All the little pieces of memorabilia that I have collected over the years, ticket stubs to movies, Broadway show programs, letters (yes the good old pen and paper type), cards, yearbooks, magazines with articles that I believe I'll read again, what about those! Where do you put all that! Add to it, the records. Those dam records, I can't throw them away and they weigh a ton, easily taking up half of my small room. Organizing documents is one of the most time consuming (yet, sadistically satisfying) task which I've spent countless hours on. Scanning pages after pages into PDF format so I can get rid of the paper copies.

My little Umax Astra 3400 flatbed scanner has served me well over the years, hmm, has it been over 5 years? nevermind that, but it just won't do anymore. With all the advances in paperless billing, one would think the amount of paper received through the mail would be tremendously reduced -- Ehhh, wrong! Now more than ever, the paper just keeps on coming. Scanning using a flatbed simply takes too long. I need something with an automatic feeder to help me scan all the pages in quickly. Thus, brought me to another research project - find the ultimate affordable document scanner.

Fujitsu ScanSnap is one of the models that came up in my searches. Call it affordable is a stretch if you are on my budget of currently unemployed. But the thought of being able to scan duplex, 16 pages a minute has my mouth watering. Think of all the time I would save not having to flip open the flatbed scanner lid, place the paper on the glass plate, close the lid, click several buttons and wait for PDF to finish creating the 2D version of my document. 3 minutes later, viola.. finally I can shred the original. To persuade myself that, yes, the $ tag on the ScanSnap is worth it, I went on the web to search for reviews by actual users. I trust the blogs more than official so called product review magazines. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of entries and the quality of the entries. It's always a pleasure to find good, informative writing. For example, the following entry by a blogger:

http://www.43folders.com/2007/11/06/palimpsest-guide-mostly-paperless-life

I just need to order to the thing and get on the track of becoming even more paperless. Two boxes, that's my goal. That's the limit I want to place on keeping actual physical documents. Everything else should be PDF and OCRed so I can search using full text later on if needed.

November

2007-11-03T22:53:00.000-04:00

A bit startled to see my last post was practically a month ago. Oh well there goes that resolution to blog more often. Not that I don't have much thoughts, it's just that I don't log it. So what transpired in a month? Hmm.. not so much different, moved, unpacked, packed, unpacked, reorganized, oh yah that reminds me, I should make a Target run tomorrow to get some bins for my Anthro. Hmm.. that's a good idea.. eBay, wonder if there's anything there that I can add to my Anthrocart collection. If there's a way to paint the top layer of the Anthrocarts that'll be even better. What is that part called, laminates? Is that it?

Where was I? Oh yes, what happened.. same old, trips to hospitals, visiting my dad's friends and then unpacking, stock market cursing and basically just watching. A lot of research done on stocks recently, my views of the imminent correction is coming back again, but I've been wrong many times before. Most of the cash will probably just sit there, gathering dust, and then I'll finally be overcome by the urge to trade and then buy at the top of the peak, THEN, only then will the market come tumbling down. Maybe I'll cry then.. who knows. I've only cried over stocks when I was on margin. Yah, the foolish days of youth, margin is a no no .. whoever invented that concept was probably a relative of Satan, or might just be the old devil himself.

Other researched items are bicycles. Getting a bike is on the top of my list right now. "Why! It's winter you nut!" one might be screaming, yes, I know it's winter, thus the frugal me wanted to see if there are any closeout sales to save a buck or two. One thing I overlooked in my scheme to not get ripped off, was the fact that I am not within the normalized range of the bell curve. My height and stand over height (ie.. pubic to floor measurement) is on the short side. Unfortunately for me, most of the US population is above 5' 5". It's really hard to find bikes that fit me. We are people too you know!!!!!

So that's what's been happening. Very exciting, I know. I am living it.

That's about it. There, isn't it amazing, 1 month of activities summed up in several paragraphs. Maybe my biography won't be that hard to write after all. For one, I don't recall most of the events that happened less than a year ago. Two, not much transitioned through the years. Well, I think I've gotten much more cynical. That should be the interesting part to write about.

Held Breath

2007-10-03T22:47:00.000-04:00

Finally, a breath of relief was exhaled when we heard those words coming out of our oncologist's mouth "the tumor shrunk about 80% in area".

Thank the high powers, all those that were rooting for my dad, the chemo worked!! No signs that the cancer has spread and it looks like the body is fighting hard along the side of the drugs to kill those bastard cancer cells.

Pop was very excited when I translated and the relief was evident through his eyes and smile. The doc said the radiologist was shocked to learn that what he saw in the CT Scan was not a scar from previous cancer but actually the cancer itself when compared to the scans taken prior to the treatment.

2 more cycles of chemo treatment was prescribe to hopefully shrink down the tumor/cancer more so that the surgery will be simpler to perform and minimize the area that will have to be taken out along with the tumor.

Text messages were sent and phone calls were made to inform family and friends of the good news. Battle on pop, battle on, it's not over but we are winning.

Grudge

2007-09-25T23:07:00.000-04:00

No.... not the horror flick that didn't make any sense even after watching both the English and the original Japanese versions.

The grudge I am talking about is the grudge I hold. I am petty, yes, petty. When I am rubbed the wrong way, I remember and I don't let go lightly. Petty that's right. Kinda ironic for a person whose memory seems to be on its last leg. Memory is selective after all.

Oooo...Gremlins is on. Now that was a iconic movie. Gizmo is so cute.

Anyways, sidetracked, what was I saying... oh yes, I hold grudges. But doctors makes it dam hard to hold it for long. I was really really pissed at my dad over the past couple days cuz all this time that we stayed at Atlantic City, he only drank one bottle of the protein drinks he was suppose to ingest to help him maintain his weight and to flush the chemo crap out of his system.

If he doesn't care about his body why the hell am I so worried about his liver and kidneys when there's nothing that I can do other than to hold him down and force quarts of liquid down his throat and the likelihood of that scenario playing out is pretty slim.

I remained my coat of silence to protest against his behaviour over the last 2 days. Maybe I am not ready to accept that he should live however he want right now cuz who knows when his time is up. Petty and hypocrite that I surely am. Carpe Diem! Isn't that suppose to be the model of living? Live as if you were dying? So whats the harm of him enjoying several days of break away from the constant reminders that he's going through chemo treatment to extend his life? I am just not ready.

Today's doc visit was to meet with pop's primary physician here in Philly area. The doc made a comment under his breath intended for my ears only that what is the most pressing concern obviously is the chemo treatment and the gastric cancer and that the prognosis doesn't look good.

So how do you hold a grudge when you are reminded that your dad's health condition and that he might be on borrowed time?

Petty, hypocritical, and utterly stubborn. Adjectives of the week.

The Day Before

2007-09-17T21:23:00.000-04:00

Doom... dooom doooom...... tadaaaaaaa!!

Countdown to the notorious Fed day ladies and gentlemen. I've waiting for this day for a while now. I really hope the market tanks so that I get a chance to get in at a decent level. I just think it's a bit too high right now with all the uncertainty - will we get into another war, can the BRIC countries keep up with the eye popping pace, US liquidity problems and how much will that affect the rest of the world?

Please fall.. fall big.. fall fall falll!!

Re-org

2007-09-15T23:17:00.000-04:00

My knee is acting up again. 6 hours of House marathon added to say 10 more hours of sitting in front of a computer will do that to even a normal person. Not that I didn't at least try a little. I tried to go to the gym 2x today but found the door locked and lights out. What are the hours on the weekend? Although the weather was perfect for walking/jogging outside, I retreated back to the apt, back in front of my laptop, reorganizing the accounts, the bills, the yet to be paid and statements to archive.

Although it's quite satisfying to file away things in its rightful folders, it's awfully time consuming. To reward myself, 6 hours of House marathon and bags of snacks seemed reasonable. At least now I should be all caught up and won't be lost when the new season of TV finally starts.

It's late. I should sleep, but ...

Train Inspired

2007-09-13T01:30:00.000-04:00

If you are like me, avoid eye contact is the mantra that runs through my head whenever I am riding on public transportation. Where do you put your eyes when you aboard a train or a bus, squeezed in like sardines in a can? Most of us busy ourselves with our frivolous gadgets - our celly, iPod, MP3 players, or portable games. The rest that are lucky enough to have travel companions gets to engage in conversations instead of trying to look busy to avoid looking at strangers. So there I was on the 6th train, seated next to a well dressed business man, looking out to the opposing window at the passing train, and that's when I saw it. This surreal moment where the cacophony that envelops you sorta mutes itself, and you see something for the first time in clarity. There it was, that passing train, carrying the same contents as the train I am on - people trying to get from A to B. But what was so surreal for me was the feeling that I was seeing some slices of time, peaking into lives of others even if for those brief seconds, I opened my eyes and I looked, unabashed because they cannot see me, I opened wide and saw the snapshots of lives passing before me. A couple engaged in a conversation, a girl looking somewhat sullen as she leans against the door, a man with his iPod, all snapshots I am seeing.

Moments like those inspires me, and words came, I guess that's what happens when your mind clears of other clutters and it amazes you once in a while on spewing out things. "You will it... " that's what my mind said to me. With that, I finished the following poem while standing on corner of 28th and 3rd, waiting for friends to join me for dinner:

You will it, will it to slow.
This life, your picture show.
One blink, several segments go,
several has passed, but there's always more.
One pause, you feel the wind blow,
the blurring of the shapes,
the morphing of the sounds,
the changing of the seasons,
the cycle restarts.
You will it, will it to slow.
Whispering - "This, I want more."

First Day On The Road To Recovery

2007-08-09T11:16:00.000-04:00

President Bush is quacking away on the little TV to my left. Some live press conference about the war probably, as he tries to cheerlead more about his agenda.

Technology certainly makes waiting time more tolerable. On the way to the hospital, 90% of the time, Betsy's slightly monotoned voice prompts are the only sounds heard in the car. Betsy, my trusty Garmin breaks the silence every so often to tell me how to get to Fox Chase, even though after 20 plus trips, one would've thought that I should have the roads memorized by now.

About 10 minutes have passed and so far so good... knock on wood. No signs of adverse reactions from the OXALIplatin as pop receives his treatment of the chemo drug through his port. This past 2 weeks I've learned a bunch about chemotherapy, radiation, affects of these toxic but ironically life saving medicines.

There are around 20 beds in the infusion room. This is the room where the chemotherapy drugs are administered. It's quite a lively room, with sounds of TVs, nurses talking, family members/friends gabbing away. Some of the patients are sleeping, some looks into the fuzzy TVs, and others like pop are reading. I've brought Harry Potter along, but this seems like a good time to reflect and write.

Bless this place for having internet access.

I think, well I know pop is probably quite nervous. On the way here, I really didn't know what to say. Never one to sugar coat things, I just reminded him what to watch out for, ie.. careful handling of chemo drugs. Either urinated out or vomited out. Probably not the best thing to have said. Although, I did ask him if he was ready. Pop replied something to the sort that this is it, nothing he can do about ready or not ready.

Nurses went over the potential side affects again, the cold sensitivity, nausea and the mouth sores in particular. Hopefully, the injected anti-nausea medication will do its job and keep pop feeling normal. Weight gain is of the up most priority right now.

Almost lunch time now, getting hungry.

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood

2007-08-05T16:39:00.000-04:00

First thought.. "What the.... " as I spotted a picture of Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood?? "What the...", I read on to discover that they are madly in love??

Why.. is all I can think of.. very very odd couple. As I started to judge, I realize that hell I am being discriminating as well. If she wanted to be with someone that's her beeswax..

Onto the next article..

Goodbye... Goodbye

2007-07-05T23:48:00.000-04:00

I always find myself with a smirk whenever I get a goodbye email from a fellow co-worker. Why? I guess I am just twisted that way... but it's always interesting to read the final words of folks leaving for 'greener pastures'.

Some are angry and bitter. And I do mean bitter, to the point where I sat in awe that they really do not ever, ever wan to ever work for the company again in their life. Like most that don't have the guts to say what they really mean, I do the invisible monkey clap to applaud them for their bravado.

Then there are some that are cordial, simple, and to the point. Thank you and best wishes type. Those are a bit more boring to read. Why? Cuz they are polite. If majority of the folks are interested in reading polite stuff, all these magazines would be out of business.

I love the funny and sarcastic ones.. .. just my personal opinion.

So when it came time to write my own farewell famous last words, I was quite conflicted for couple of days. Do I want to be funny? How about take a jab at the business? Do I want to be polite? Yes, but not kiss ass type I've decided and definitely don't want to burn any bridges, never know when you need to cross back again.

Writing was something I've always viewed more important than spoken word; rather it be emails, handwritten letters, greeting cards, deliverables or blogs for that matter. That finality of letters on a piece of paper is just... there, final. Once viewed you can't take back. Especially in this day and age where things are cached for say years or decades. That note you wrote can easily be recalled many many moons later, even long after you are gone from this planet.

Where was I? Oh yes, my goodbye email. I started many drafts. One thought was to write it in the format of a poem. I am glad I didn't use that! Even after 4 or 5 drafts, I didn't have anything that flowed for me. All the bits and pieces were there but it didn't flow. But I was running out of time to diddle waddle. Today is Thursday. Most of the project team are traveling back to their homes in a couple of hours. I really do want to also say goodbye in person since I will be working from home next week. So project productivity had to be sacrificed. I took about 1.5 hours to finally put together a goodbye email that I was pretty proud of. It's a mix of everything. A dash of sarcasm, a dusting of thankfulness, a sprinkle of humor, and a good dose of authenticity. Well at least I hope I came across as being authentic.

The funny thing is that as I was writing my note, I realized that I am truly thankful for the experience and what it has taught me. Some lessons took me a while to learn but I've learned it and mistakes that I've made in the past will not be made again. I haven't found entirely what I want, but I know what I don't and that's pretty darn good thing to know.

I got a little emotional when saying goodbyes to people after they saw my note. I will miss them.

The Day I Told

2007-06-27T22:31:00.000-04:00

I had practice this moment for a looong time in my head, over and over, of how I was going to announce to the upper management that I am leaving the company. But nothing is as we planned it. Instead, I was rushing trying to finish work at the same time nervous as hell on breaking the news to my manager about me leaving the project.. leaving the company.

Finally I tracked him down and after he finished setting some priorities of work on my plate I asked to speak to him in his office.

Maybe I should have been a little bit more patient about spewing out my resignation statement, but never one for small talk, before my manager even had the chance to close the door fully, I turned around and said something like, "Mike, I just wanted to give you a heads up that I am resigning."

The man is stoic as ever! He should play poker was what I thought. After a brief pause, he said he was sorry to hear the news and then we went into more details of why I am leaving the company. I explained that I've thought about this for a while now but had to move up the exit date due to father's ill health. He was sorry again and thanked me for the heads up.

All was done in less than 5 minutes.. maybe even 3.

Then of course.. I got called backs about 30 minutes later on whether if I had considered taking FMLA again or leave of absence..

Nice offers definitely.. but it's time to go.

How did I feel afterwards? Maybe slightly relieved that now I can submit the resignation formally so that the separation process may begin. But not much of anything else.. my mind was on other things.

Rest of the day I shared the formal news only with several close friends.. then it's business as usual.. fix the bugs, update the config, and update the status.

Bad News

2007-06-25T23:23:00.000-04:00

Why is it that I am always prompted to write more when things are troubling me or that it's not something pleasant?

Today while out in downtown State Collge enjoying some lunch, a phone call from an unrecognized number rings. "Hello"... and the conversation begins. The doc is looking for pop to inform him of the CAT Scan results. Talking to me is the same, so I was the first that heard those words that we've dreaded..."there's an ill-defined mass"... so has the cancer come back or is it just a tumor? When will he do the biopsy in the next exam? How many were there?
Will a PET Scan be scheduled?

One question after the other. I am not surprised of the news. I had a bad feeling several weeks ago, my right eye just started jumping again. Why is it that mom and pop don't seem to be able to get a break. How am I going to tell him?

What will he think? Will pop get really depressed? Will he think of the worst? Will he ....

Until we know whether the mass is malignant or not, we shouln't jump to conclusions. The oncologist will tell us.

Balance

2007-04-19T00:12:00.000-04:00

The Virgina Tech tragedy has dominated the airwaves and print. It's hard to turn on the TV without hearing the latest updates about the senseless killing by a 23 year old.

It's all very sad, where did all this go wrong? How do someone grow from a tiny little baby to become a killer?

Anyways, so that prompted the thinking that all things in this universe is striving for balance. Too much rain, too little water. Too much sun, not enough light. Give the kids all the things they need or are we spoiling them? Too much work, not enough play? Too much freedom or control?

The kid was definitely off balance. How did he become that way and can we prevent tragedies in the future?

It's hard I think for all of us, society in general to take part of the blame for tragedies that happen every day. Myself is not excluded for sitting back and letting things go by. I think most of us are very detached.. prehaps detached to protect ourselves.. maybe in self denial that ugly.. very ugly things go on in this world. Things we want to distant ourselves with we tend to either ignore to delay facing reality or totally ignore it.

So what can we as humans do to prevent this? How can we as a society help steer the next generation to become humans with moral values? And is it too late for those that are walking and talking already? Can we guide the lost or troubled souls towards a healing path?

It'll take all of us to make those types of commitments. Are we ready?

Melancholy

2007-04-08T17:52:00.000-04:00

One word summed it all up. Wonder who thought of this word that describes what every one of us feels. The knit brows, the half grimace, the tightened jaws and this incredible sadness that seeps through the body as if the dark clouds will never dissipate. You try as you might, with loud music and upbeat tempos. You try again with renting laughs that comes on a shiny disc. But, nay, nothing works.

Only time I guess, time and enough self indulgence to let this course of gloom and doom run through your veins throughout each limb, run itself to exhaustion and lay to rest before you can return to your old self.

Deconstruct and Reconstruct

2007-03-17T22:54:00.000-04:00

Following are notes I jotted down, trying to remember bits and pieces of one of my dreams.
The colors were muted.. kinda like that grayish hue depicted in War of the Worlds. The sky was ominous, everything is just a shade grayer, a little more dustier.

- killed in a flash
- imploded, people died but afterwards they came back through another flash
- the entire world seems to be deconstructed and reconstructed by some supernatural force right infront of my eyes. I can only stand there in awe and watch houses tore down and rebuilt within minutes
- houses wiped out crumbled but the rebuilding was like moving of boxes in and out until all the houses are in a row and connected. The strange thing and almost comical if the situation wasn't about life and death was that the rebuilt houses were very colorful in this rebuilt world. They reminded me of Florida or actually more of the France style houses I seen once in Quebec.

Music Is Too Loud

2007-02-21T06:06:00.000-05:00

Well, this is a first for me - a complaint from front desk asking me to turn my music down.

I guess the hotel walls are not as thick as I thought. Seriously, how loud can the music be if it's coming from an IBM laptop?

I had the TV on until 3 am and it was pretty loud.. maybe somehow they didn't notice until I started singing.. hahah.

Ooh joys of living out of a hotel, even if it is a Hilton. Just not the same I guess. Sadly I had to turn down Sia - singing Breathe Me on YouTube. Now time to hit the treadmills before my ass completes its morphing into globs of fat.

Most Memorable V Day

2007-02-15T00:00:00.000-05:00

I got no love.
I got no food.
I got no car.....

Sounds like a beginning of a best woeful hit of 2007.

Well I have to say, this particular Valentines day takes the cake and ate it too. Morning started out with me on top of my blanket and covers on my king size Hilton bed. Alone. That was not a surprise since I did after all went to bed alone. If I didn't wake up alone, that would've been a bit weird and scary.

The world froze overnight. Hilton did a crappy job of plowing and the lot still looked treacherous. Then the boss called to say the roads are horrible. But thankfully I wasn't on the road yet. So I worked from the hotel until my stomach called for food. I donned my winter gear and headed out to the parking lot to clean off the Element.

That's when the day started to go downhill. I must have left my windshield wipers on last night and while I was scraping off the ice, I didn't realize that the wipers were trying to wipe until it was too late. By the time I turned the wipers off, the motor driving it seems to be fried. :( Not a good day. So rest of the afternoon was spent partially working but mostly looking for a dealership around here and worrying how I'll be able to get there tomorrow.

I guess it's better than not remember a Valentines day. I can tell who ever cares to ask that around midnight, I hiked to the local CVS to get myself some grub. A box of Honey Bunches of Oats, 140z of whole milk, Veryfine Apple juice and a bottle of V8.

In the cereal goes into a glass cup, pour in the milk, and with my own metal spoon, I scooped up that delicious mixture into my awaiting mouth. Hmmmmmmm...... fooood...

Happy Valentines Day.

5,000 Calories

2007-02-11T21:57:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's what I consumed in one setting if not more.

Today a friend came in to visit so we decided to give the new cheeseburger chain restaurant in town a try. The atmosphere was friendly and brightly lit with the old diner neon lights deco.

Gosh, I don't remember the last time I ordered a cheeseburger at a restaurant. McDonalds don't count.

The owners of the joint made a good call. The town was missing a family restaurant. Actually come to think of it.. lots of town are missing family restaurants where kids enjoy the food much more so than the adults. The place was jammed pack with wait of 25 minutes! To pass the time, we walked across the street to Duncan Donuts to kick off the night of high calorie feast.

The burger wasn't bad.. not out of this world good either. But it was just nice to sit in a place where you see families. The parents, the kids type of thing. I was amazed to see so many in one place.

Good for them.

Not so good for my figure.

All About the Timing

2007-02-02T02:48:00.000-05:00

The past 24 hours has just not worked out for me. Time was my enemy. It went against everything I was trying to do. First I woke up on 02/01/07, 5 AMish to realize that "Sh*t!!! I did not get to place my Amazon Wishlist gift certificate order cuz I fell asleep 30 minutes before the deadline." Contributing factors to the waste of a good 25% off were:
1 - sleep deprivation
2 - coma induced by gorging food at 9:30 PM
3 - the unbreakable habit of procrastination until very last minute

You snooze you loose. Prime example right here. Literally.

So the morning did not start off so well. Got to work, work work work, then found out that we really didn't have to be there on Friday so it was a mad rush during lunch hours to go back and checkout of the hotel.

Finished with the workshops and meeting around 7ish PM and started the mad rush to go catch the 9 PM Amtrak at BWI.

Yah, that did not work out too well.

Contributing factors to missing the 9 PM train:
0 - left at a time that didn't leave much flex room
1 - the 1 hour drive from work to Car Rental place
2 - process to wait for return of car, to shuttle to airport, to shuttle from airport to Amtrak
3 - got on the wrong bus (The bus driver gave me a short lecture on why did I get on the bus to the long term parking lot when it states on the bus that's where it's going. To my defense, I really did not look.)

So the next train was at 10:30 PM but then got delayed to 11PM.

All in all, I got back after getting a ride at around 2 AM on 02/02/07. Travel to come back took over 7 F*king hours.

Not a happy camper here.

But valuable lesson learned once more:
1 - poor time management leads to dire consequences - more time wasted
2 - waste of opportunities
3 - Avoid taking a late Amtrak train

Time for shuteye.

Nikon D50!

2007-01-17T11:26:00.000-05:00

When I heard the door bell rang about half an hour ago, I sped down like a kid on Christmas day ... my first DSLR is here!!!

Yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhha!!!

After I ran back up with my precious package, the Canon S45 (current camera) was put into action to document the glorious momentous unveiling of my new Nikon D50.

Pictures were snapped, flashes went off, and viola event captured. Now I just have to wait patiently for the parts to adjust to the room temperature since it's been sitting in the cold delivery facilities for the past couple of days.

Then I can charge my battery and start shooting!

I Pulled the Trigger... on the Nikon D50

2007-01-14T18:43:00.000-05:00

It has been a long arduous journey for me personally to decide on a camera. Wait, not just 'a camera' but my very first DSLR. Whohooo! I've always liked photography. There's so much that can be read from looking at a picture, and I want to be one of those that capture that moment.

Thanks to the AMEX wishlist coupon, I am able to get a discount on the Amazon.com purchase. The hard part was to decide between mainly the three cameras - Nikon D50, Nikon D40 or Pentax K100D.

I went to several shops, held them, shoot sample shots with them (store lighting really isn't a good indicator), went back and repeated the process several more times. I think the camera shop people are sick of me now.

Finally hit the 'buy' button for the D50. God, endless nights scouring the forums. I just don't want to regret my decision or look back and say hell.. I should've gone with the other model. But like always, I tend to over analyze things. I guess there will never be that one perfect camera, that one perfect job or that one perfect life. Just need to make a decision and go with it. I am trying. 2 months it took me to pull the trigger and I am still not sure if I'll like it.

I figured that if it turns out I really do find the D50 too bulky for me to handle after shooting with it for a while, I can always sell it on eBay and recoup most of my money for it and then go for the D40 instead. I tried manual focusing on the Pentax K100D with some old manual lenses to see how it felt the other day... it was slow.... and I would definitely miss some shots if I had to manual focus with some of the primes like I would have on the D40.

Finally! It's such a relief to at least decide on a camera for now. Can't wait to get the camera and start taking pictures!

Now the long nights will be spent reading up on tripods to get. Ooooh boy ......

Rejected!

2007-01-11T16:50:00.000-05:00

I wasn't expecting it.

The call that is. I just got out of the bathroom, going for a pear in the fridge when I was notified that a call from the consulting firm is ringing on the phone.

Dropping the pear on the counter, I rushed up to get the phone just in time to hear the "Booong Boong Boong" on the line. Darn! Missed it!

Not to worry. Thanks to wonders of technology and voicemail, the recruiter regretfully informed me through the message that "they will be pursuing other candidates at this time"... aka .. "Nahh, we don't want you!"

So .. there it was, the first rejection after 7 years.

I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I was at the least slightly disappointed. Don't get me wrong I am not going to cry me a river for not getting this job, it was mostly that my little ego was slightly bruised. Natural to feel that way right? "Why didn't they want me? Whyy whyyyy whyyy??"

Truth to be told, if I was sitting on the other side of the table, I would not hire me either. Why? Lack of enthusiasm.

I guess I am not that great of a liar nor pretender. Never was one to put on a face for too long. I even heard it in my tone while I was interviewing. If I sounded alive, maybe they would've invited me for the 3rd round.

Oh well. I got over it in 5 minutes.

Their loss! But still, would like to hear what was it that made them look the other way.

It's A Happy Day

2007-01-06T17:53:00.000-05:00

Wow.. I feel good about myself today. Did a looooot of things. Let's see morning started at 8 this morning. The bladder called and also I wanted to get my rear brakes and rotors fixed once for all.

Roughly 40 minutes into 8, I got an appointment for the Element to get spanking new gear this afternoon. Finally! One would think that getting rear brakes and rotors would be something simple. But noooo.... in this day and age, how many of us have a trusted mechanic? Or dealer?

These day and age, I am a bit more cynical or careful if you want to put it nicer. But as a consumer, when it comes to service, it definitely does not hurt to shop around and get multiple views. So here is a rough summary of my quest to find out what actually needs to be replaced on my vehicle and not get ripped off in the process.

05/31/06
- took my Element into one of the Honda dealers (VIP Honda for those that live in NJ) for some fluid flush and oil change. As part of their routine checks I guess, they pointed out that all four of the brakes pads will need to be changed soon and they might not last until next oil change.
Odo reading = 44,558.

07/01/06
- Element went into one of the local STS mechanic shops for free brake and rotor inspection after hearing some screeching sound coming from the brakes. I was quite impressed when the mechanics actually asked me to step into the shop to show me the rotor and the brake while the tire is off. He explained somethings about the rotor which made sense when he's saying it. But to an untrained eye like mine, I doubt I'll be able to pick up whether or not a rotor has grooves that are not normal the next time I see a rotor. To me they all look like old records!

But it was the thought that count and the fact that the mechanic was willing to show me what they saw. Either we got a honest mechanic on our hands or that he was betting that I am amongst many others who knows knows nothing about rotors and brakes.

Anyways, I left the shop without anything done since the mechanics told me that my front pads still have about 50% life on them and the rotors look fine. The rear pads have 25% left and should replace the rotors at the same time within 5,000 miles.

11/08/06
- Went back to VIP Honda again to have my oil changed and also asked them to look at the brakes. This time instead of saying all brake pads needs to be replaced, the front pads and rotors will need to be replaced. The rear rotors are okay but need new pads.

Okay at this point I am really confused. Dealer is saying front rotors are bad, local mechanics are saying it's the rear that needs to be replaced.

01/03/07
- Went to the same local shop where I got my Nokian tires to see what they gotta say about my braking system. Front pad and rotors looked fine according to them. The rear pads and rotor will have to be replaced and the rotors are out of spec too thin to be replaced so that full replacement is needed. The fronts pads and rotors I were told should last at least another 5,000 miles without problem.

Yah, so this one agreed with the other local mechanic.

01/06/07
Okay finally went back to the STS shop and got my NAPA rotors and Honda OEM pads for the rear. Whohoooo.. I feel safer already!

I am just glad this is over. Not that I mind spending the money since safety comes first but it's just frustrating trying to figure out what exactly needs to be changed. I am still scratching my head as to why the opposite opinions between the Honda dealer and the local mechanics? One says front bad the other says its the rear!

Well, I shall find out soon enough. The next time I get on the highway and need to brake, I'll be able to tell if I still feel the pulsing when the brakes is applied at higher speeds.

The End of the Rotor Chronicles..

2nd Phone Interview ...Much Better?

2007-01-04T23:07:00.000-05:00

News flash of the day.. whohoo.. I made it through my 2nd phone interview. This round of interrogation, ehh.. I meant questioning was done a principal manager at the company. The entire phone conversation was around 40 minutes in length.

Part I - tell me about you and what you did

Part II - ask me about the company

I think I did better in the 2nd part than the first. But regardless, I sounded much more alive and actually 'interested' this round than my first talk which was with the HR department.

The interview ended with the guy thanking me for my time and he said "I look forward to seeing you." I don't know if he was just being polite or not, but at least it's not "Well, thank you for your time and have a good night."

We shall see....

Feeling Them Up!

2006-12-18T19:38:00.000-05:00

Ah.... I've waited for soooo long. Finally, for 2 hours, I wrapped my hand around the hard bodies of my dreams - Nikon D50, Nikon D40, Nikon D80, Canon Rebel XTi, Pentax K100D. What were you thinking?

If the shop had carried the Olympus EVOLT E-500, then the line up will be truly complete for comparison purpose.

The D80 was the largest of them all and also the highest in price. Here's the size ranking according to my grip:

D80 -> D50 -> Pentax K100D -> Rebel XTi -> D40 (smallest).

D80
- heavy and solid

D50
- clunky and ergonomically like a block

D40
- my gosh that's a cute camera, small grip, my pinky definitely has to go under the camera

Pentax K100D
- surprisingly very solid feel to the camera in between D50 and D40. Perfect grip.

The 2 hours went fast, mostly just taking snap shots and the customer rep was really helpful to explain the features and differences between the dSLRs. His preference? Nikon, being a long time Nikon user. Although he did recommend the Pentax system. I wonder if it's because they were running a special on it? Regardless when asked about how useful is the top LCD and the control dials on the Nikon, the rep said that he thinks it's pretty useful as he illustrated just holding down a button and scrolling with the dial control one is able to change the ISO, shutter speed settings for example rather quickly.

D40 lacked external jog controller and missing the ability to auto focus other than AF-S lenses was a biggie for me. I reallly realllly liked the prime lenses after snapping some shots with them at the store. It was just amazing how fast the shutter was able to go with those fast prime lenses. The 50 mm f/1.4 .. nice.... very nice. (*droool*)

Also heard a rumor that D50 is being discontinued.

After having the chance to hold the D50 longer in my hands and shoot with it, the size actually wasn't too bad. I can now see why a lot of people think the the Canon's grip is too small. If you have a larger hand, then yes, the Canon is probably harder to wrap the hand around with.

So I think it comes down to the following for me:

1 - Do I prefer to have the top LCD and jog dial for faster access to control settings?
2 - Do I want to have a bigger LCD screen?
3 - Do I even need to have jog dial and quick controls to settings?
4 - I guess what pictures am I planning to take? mostly composed or action?
5 - Ergonomically which one will my hand like better?
6 - Which one will I take out with me to places?

Decisions decisions...

Monster Element

2006-12-09T17:29:00.000-05:00

Today's Mission:

# Buy the bargain marked down sofa and lug it back!

Sofa Dimensions: 70"Wx43"Dx32"H

Believe it. This sofa from Crate and Barrel's outlet in Cranbury, NJ was transported sitting upright using my Honda Element!

Note:
Objects are larger than they appear.

Honda Element Dimensions:

Headroom = 39.4 inches
Cargo Volume = 77.1 cubic foot

I LOOOOOOVE my car. It's such a cool little all around reliable car that could.

Now how many other vehicles on the market today (exclude cargo vans and utility trucks) can cart following items within the vehicle with all doors and hatches closed?

- 1 large snow blower + 2 passengers
- 1 large lawn mowner + 2 passengers
- 2 standard size bikes + 2 passengers
- 1 two-seater sofa + 2 passengers
- a whole trunk load of boxes
- 20 plastic bins + 3 passengers

Whohoo! Go Element, go Element, go go go Element..

Buy one and stop drooling.

Phone Interview

2006-12-06T23:12:00.000-05:00

Hmm...

Earlier today, I had my first formal phone interview since my job search begun.

The entire conversation lasted around 30 minutes. The first level of phone interview is done by the HR recruiter. Standard questions were asked:

- Why work for us?
- Why are you leaving your present job?
- Are you okay with traveling?
- Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
- Do you have any questions for me?
- Tell me about your projects?
- How much do you make currently?

I was not too happy with myself on this interview. Blame it on lack of human interaction, well more like business face to face interaction could be part, the other is just that I am not used to having to impress others or toot my own horn. Whatever my excuse is, I thought I did a bad job today.

Surprised, I was to hear that I'll be having a second phone interview with the company next week. Interesting. This time it'll be with the technical officers at the firm.

The funny thing is, when I was talking to the lady, I knew I did not sound like someone who is really excited about the job. Perhaps my inner self knows that this is not something I really want to do. What then, what are my alternatives? Thoughts of - watching stocks, browsing, working for cousins, go back to school, start online business - flashed through my mind when I answered with "I have other prospects." to HR's question - "Are you talking to other companies right now?"

It's not a lie.

Do I really want this? Million dollar question.

Subjective

2006-12-03T16:47:00.000-05:00

It's 13 minutes till 5PM. The closing time of my local library where I seeked refuge for the last 3 hours. It's too dam cold in the house for my blood to circulate so I must find somewhere warmer in order to have those digits functioning.

As I walked towards the front door, I noticed the yellow sign that's posted on the front door which reads - "Reception 2 - 4 pm". Ohhh.. what is this? I thought to myself. I soon found out that the library is hosting a reception for a local photographer. A wall of black and white photos with the theme snow is displayed in black frame. My excitement soon diminished as I scanned over the photos. Most of them were distant shots of central park in the winter. Trees and few people in the background. I didn't feel it. I didn't feel the serenity, tPublishhe calmness that the photographer wrote on the stand. And I sure didn't get the prices she tagged onto those photos - over $300 each! What the ...

Photos I guess are just like paintings or other forms of artistic expression - subjective.

What is beautiful and memorable for each person is quite different.

For me those pictures are very mediocre. I could've done those shots! But alas, I wouldn't have the clout to have the local lib host a reception for me.

I guess that's one factor that makes one an artist vs a casual photographer.

Hurry! Click!

2006-11-28T23:08:00.000-05:00

Freebies, everyone wants them, especially when you make it into a competition.

Take for example, crowd goes wild when parade participants throws out bits of candy. It's a peppermint for crying aloud! No need to poke someone's eye out to get to it. If that peppermint wasn't thrown into a crow and instead placed in a jar on the side of the table somewhere, will we see the people do a mad dash for it? I highly doubt it.

So what is it that makes us go ga ga whenever there's free stuff handed out but in limited supplies? Perhaps it's more of the rush knowing that you beat out others, making us feel somewhat superior.. even if it's just for a wrapped candy.

American Express brought the fun to a whole new level with their introduction of My Wishlist.

Now it's like participating in a lotto.. instead of picking the numbers, you click and click with your mouse and test your typing skills to fill out the information in time to gain the prize.

I got all 3 coupons today. Amazon, Best Buy, and Home Depot.

Dam I am good!

True Cost of Time = More Time

2006-11-18T23:44:00.000-05:00

Today was one of those days that timing really screwed with me...

Morning sun made its way through my windows to conspire with my bladder to wake me up from my slumber. It was 8 am. I turned on my celly to hear the voicemail of a friend that today's meetup is on. Since it looked like a clear, sunny, but brisk day out, I thought a walk to the post office to pickup my certified mail would be a good idea. Then I can come back and catch the 9:35 am train into the city.

Mistake #1. I got there around 8:30 am only to find that the post office does not open until 9. What to do, what to do.. do I run back or just hang around the empty parking lot until the gates are lifted? I opted to head home to shower and then drive back. Mistake #2.

Although my friend would appreciated my clean scent, it sure did cut things tight. By the time I drove back to the post office, it was already 9:17 am. As soon as I stepped in, I silently cursed, "Are you F* kidding me?" To my horror, there's already a line with at least 5 people in front of me and 2 of which had at least 6 boxes to ship out. So I thought to myself, "Okay, let's see the man is going to the back room, maybe to ask for a 3rd person to help in the front."

Noooooooo........ instead of putting another man up to the front desk to help with other customers, yes, customers, the long line continues to accrue more and more people as we watch the 2 front desk people manage each box. Let's just say 5 minutes per box X 6 = 30 minutes at least. That's 30 minutes at least of waiting time for the rest of us.

Inefficiencies... a good business manager would've put another person to help out with a line that has 8+ people in it. Do you think Kinkos would let a line get 8 people long when there's others around to help? Most likely not! Perhaps this says something about the efficiency within the US government.

When my brain finally gave in to the idea that I am not going to get my mail today, it was already 9:25 am. Due to no parking is available near the train station without permit, I had to park on residential streets. By the time I ran down the hill, my train was whizzing by. "Great, F* great." To catch the next train, I ran back to my car to drive it to the next train station hoping to beat the train.

I finally released a sigh of relief as I stood on the platform, ticket in hand, waiting for my 10:10 am train to pull in.

10:05 am - whohoooo my train arrives!!! Mistake #3.

It was not my train. Yes, unfortunately I found out only after I heard the announcement WHILE sitting on the train which is now taking me further away from the city. Great, this is turning out to be a nightmarish day.

That one I had no one to blame but myself.

I made the best of my time as I waited at the next station to catch the city bound train this time. At 10:36 am. The train finally came. The old lady confirmed that this is the train to get on. Thank goodness for old ladies. They don't judge.

Finally, I made it to the city and just in time to submit my name in the lottery drawings for Wicked and The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. This would be my 3rd attempt to get lottery tickets for Wicked. Long behold, I wasn't surprised when my name wasn't called for Wicked. Still we had one more chance at getting cheap tickets. After spending 30 minutes at Cosi's for lunch, we were back in front of the door for the drawing. Names after names were announced, sorely defeated I was ready to walk away when my name was called out!! Whooo!!! I did a little hop "that's me!" yeaaaaaahhh... finally I won something!

See that little pin? Each of the lottery winners gets one for keepsake. Aww......

One word to describe the show - cozy. It was a small theater staged as a school's stadium which is really great cuz I hate it when big head sit right in front of me. Not that I would have problem this time because as lottery winners, some gets front center, others get first row on the sides.

For $25, I can't complain about seeing mostly the side profile of the actors.

Fun show to go and if you go for the lottery, you have a really good chance of getting picked due to the small number of people that actually show up for the lottery. Dunno why.

Even though I wasted a lot of time waiting this morning to get to my final destination, the day turned out pretty good. Saw a show, spent time with 2 friends, and had a filling dinner in Chinatown.

A Good Day

2006-11-11T23:06:00.000-05:00

What a gift! Today was the most perfect November day ever! Well at least the most perfect for me when I do venture outside.

Ahh.. that breeze .... you know the day's gotta be great when you walk out and immediate enveloped by this most warm feeling... kinda like the powers telling you "Hey there! Go have fun now. It's a good day."

A beeeeauutiful day. This is the kind of day where every creature comes out of hiding... the 4 legged critters, the 2 legged ones, the old, the young, even the ones that can't even walk yet. After some box moving, it was time for a short hike!

My hiking buddy found a little park that was in between our locations - Lord Stirling Park. The description on the site mentioned some swamp land and level trails. Since we had limited daylight now that sun sets quite early, a short hike for today is perfect.

We got to the park at 2:40pm and got out of the park by 5:15pm.

During those brief 2 hours, plenty of pit stops were made to allow for proper picture taking time. We traveled across swamp patches on boardwalks and by the end of the day it was more like trudging through mud patches. Squish.. Squish.. the sound my sneakers made as I attempted to walking through another wet muddy section of the trail. By the end of our 3.5 mile leisure hike, I satisfied my outdoor exposure for the day and was happy with some of the shots that I took. A digi SLR and a tripod would've made me a lot happier but hey it's all good.

Thanks to the Garmin, we found a place to feed our tummies - Thai Thai. Aptly named, the Thai restaurant was surprising good and very busy.

I hiked.
I took.
I ate.

A very good day indeed.

In The Name of Greater Good

2006-11-09T23:58:00.000-05:00

Channel surfing after Smallville ended when I saw a PBS documentary presentation on chimpanzees once used as lab animals for various medical products and procedures.

For the next 40 minutes, I watched as the camera showed the chimps in their man-made habitat, which, for the most part consisted of concrete floors and metal bars. I listened as the narrators and their caretakers re account the harsh life these animals endured. It was absolutely heart wrenching to see these creatures, humans' distant cousins, so used to living in cages that when given freedom to explore green pastures, they were afraid to step off the hard concrete.

In the name of greater good, we have done so many things.

Survival of the fittest, I get that. The strong shall survive and get the bragging rights to write history.

Will I stop using modern medication? No. But when I do take it next time, I'll think of those that made it possible for me to suffer a little less and live a little longer.

Personal Productivity

2006-11-04T23:40:00.000-05:00

How does one measure personal productivity?

Work? Work productivity is easy to calculate. Someone has already setup metrics, goals, target dates, billable hours, and other standards to which you are to meet to be deemed productive. But what about in our own lives? Who decides when we are productive and when we are just globs taking up space?

Me, I say me. I get to decide. Some days I give myself a big pat on the ass just for getting up to shower and eat. Other days, when the nagging me takes over, I force myself to make up TODO lists and do them (or try very hard). Today is one of those days.

The notepad is full of items to cross off by the end of the day. It's funny how the most important and the most pressing items are always passed over until all the easier, minor tasks are finished and you have no excuse but to tackle the big ones.

I did a lot today I have to say. Balancing accounts, scanning in sheets (joyful task but not for 5 hours), financial research, browsing, and lastly the most important item - sending out the referral form. Phew... I was drained by dinner time. Sorting through records really takes a toll. During one of my many mini breaks to keep sanity in check, I found a pretty cool site - 37signals.

The founders of the site are developers for simple, and intuitive software. One of which I found useful right away - Ta-da List. It's an online ToDo list keeper. How convenient. Now I can be reminded everywhere I go that I got crap loads of things that are yet to be finished. Do I really need additional stress?

Tomorrow, tomorrow will be play day.

What Did I Miss

2006-11-01T23:27:00.000-05:00

I am an emotional mess.

Just finished watching Click and blew my nose 3 times already. If I wore make-up, I would be streaking like those 80s rockers. This, was a total surprise of a tear jerker. Adam Sandler's recent movies do do justice to the word "dramadey".

Armed with a brilliant script, Adam Sandler leads us through a refreshing premise to reiterate the important things in life....

- family comes first
- live and engage each moment

I identify with Michael Newman - the main character of the movie 100%. Well not so much the part where he has a gorgeous wife, 2 cute kids, and a humping dog, but with the work part. Where work monopolized all his time and focus. To get work done everything else takes the back burner; let it be personal projects, family, friends, ... life. Years later, like Michael, I am asking myself what did I miss and how can I miss all that. Everyone got older, including myself, the little ones grew up and the old... passed on.

Not to reveal too much of the movie, we often don't appreciate the things we've got until they are gone.

I shook my head at a lot of the scenes in the movie. Why? Because I see myself doing the exact same thing everyday. What a schmuck.

Great movie. Shame on me.

Annual Things

2006-10-31T22:09:00.000-05:00

"... the doctor mentioned that I might have to go for a second surgery because..."

(pause)

I believe the doc recognized the onset of uncontrollable fits of giggles if she did not immediately stop what she was doing -- so she did. I managed to act my age and not burst out laughing.

God, it never gets any easier. Perhaps when my boobs shrinks down to flaps of skin is when I will no longer find it funny when someone pinches and squeezes my nipples.

Annual physicals, don't we all love them?

They make you put on a gown, usually made out of paper, with armpit cutouts big enough to fit a thigh through, why bother being modest? But I still fumbled with the little string, trying to tie up the make shift robe when my breasts are still visible from the sides. Hey it kept me warm.

It wasn't long until the next embarrassing moment. As part of the examination, skin is being evaluated. First for me.

"Okay, take off the gown. I need to check your skin so I need to see all of you."

Already... ... so I tried to act as if disrobing in front of strangers is norm for me. I had to do a little twirl too! Maybe next time I'll imagine myself posing for art students instead. Perhaps that'll help. I don't know many people who are completely at ease with baring it all.

"You are in perfect health. See you next year!" With those parting words marked the end of my annual exam for 2006.

You know the drill..
- get into the doc's office
- wait for name to be called
- rummage through the stacks of magazines
- read an article
- whohoooo!! you are called
- get into a smaller room
- wait for nurse
- rummage through the smaller stack of magazines
- wish you brought your own reading material
- read several more articles
- whoohooo!! nurse comes in
- you are informed the doc will be in soon, get naked and into the gown
- back to rummaging through magazines
- again, really wishing you brought other stuff to read
- finally found a good article to read
- half way through the article the doc shows up
- usually 10 minutes later you are out of there with $35 dollar less in the pocket

I'll live for another year.

Halloween, another annual thing.

It's been a long while since I dished out teeth rotting sweets to young children. The act of giving does release some endorphins. I was giddy with joy when I see the kids walk up to the door. Rushing down, I got there even before little monsters had the chance to ring the bell. Quickly, the candy in the bowl diminished. By 7pm, I was out of goodies. Feeling bad, I ran out to CVS to lug back enough candy to induce root canals. But my efforts went unappreciated. Only 4 more kiddies came by the house.

So here I am, with a bag of candy ready for next year's Halloween.

Eragon

2006-10-29T18:56:00.000-05:00

A boy, a dragon, and adventures that span deserts and kingdoms. Cross into land of elves, dwarfs and thrown into battles of good versus evil. What's not to like!

Hmm.. this book to me is a marriage between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. 5 stars for it. A good book to me is one that makes me feel and see. I felt the sand whip across my face as I soar through the air on the back of a scaly dragon. I stood amongst the elves waiting, waiting for the imminent attacks of the Urgals.

What impressed me the most is that it was written by a boy at the age of fifteen. Now that's an inspiration.

If you like epic adventures checkout the book and start on the journey.

For more information on the book or the author go to: http://www.alagaesia.com

Now I hope the movie will do the book justice.

Fanfiction - Thank You

2006-10-28T21:25:00.000-04:00

I've been busy lately. Fine. I've been lazy lately. Well, I shouldn't be so hard on myself, so sue me if I like reading fanfiction over doing work. Doesn't everyone? If not, then please do yourselves a favor, venture out and read some internet fiction. Like published works, there are some mediocre ones, some really bad ones, and then you hit the jackpot with the ones that grab you with the first sentence and keep you awake way past your bedtime.

I hit a jackpot this week. Found another author whose work I enjoyed immensely. I liked her novel so much that I even wrote an e-mail to thank her for sharing the stories. Hmm... she would be the 5th author that I wrote to thank. After reading so many stories, I have to say the yearning to write one myself is strong. To think about writing is one thing, to actually have something to write about is another.

I like to read the authors interviews on how they go about writing their story. A lot of them says the characters come to them. I think that'll be the way for me. I would have to be able to see the characters or the storyline play out in my head first than to conjure up something from thin air. Maybe my dreams can help me out. They are pretty intense most of the time, battle vampires, slaying monsters, chasing evil warlords and rescuing the world. Think I have a hero's complex?

The little scratch pad that I bought while I was in Taiwan holds a lot of my notes. Like a little journal/note book. Everyone should carry a pencil and a notepad around. Especially, for one as forgetful as me. That's the main reason I painstakingly write, scan, and take pictures. For my memory is not to be trusted. I am afraid if I don't do some type of recording, I wouldn't remember what my life was like, what I was like.

Anyways, I digress. To all the fanfiction writers out there, big thanks to you all for creating such lively characters and for taking me on journeys across time and space.

Write on!!

Blood Work

2006-10-10T22:20:00.000-04:00

It's that time of the year. The annual physical exam. Hopefully one of the rare times where you actually pay strangers to checkout your most intimate parts.

But, alas, I am getting ahead of myself. Before the detail examination, comes the blood taking.

I woke up late this morning. My cellphone alarm failed me. The appointment was at 8am. I didn't get to the doc's office until 8:25am. I wasn't that worried because most of the time they make you wait at least 45 minutes, sitting in a room with a bunch of patients like yourself, avoiding direct eye contact and desperately trying to find a worthy magazine to pass the time.

I brought Eragon with me but didn't get to it as I was called in within 5 minutes after arrival. It's good to have early appointments, that or it's a really slow day. Cotton ball with rubbing alcohol wipes across my skin as I watch the Quest lady prepped me for the needle. I notice that in this last 2 years, I make sure that I watch as the needle goes into my vein. Perhaps it's getting older, but I want to avoid turning into one of those people that get squeamish when it comes to needles and blood. So I watched as the red liquid shoots into two little vials tagged with my name, capped and ready for the labs. Next, comes the urine sample. I hate peeing into a cup. Why? Why the hell not! Most of the time I end up peeing on my hand. Sigh. Oh they also should remind patients not to pee before they come into appointments. Good thing I still had some left in the bladder. Holding the cup, I noticed something. The little cup had a notch! Yah, it's got a built in notch so that it makes it easier to pure into the tube. My entrepreneur mind kicks in and asks, "I wonder how much money they are making off this little improvement?"

I felt awkward handing my urine to some stranger. I mean what do you say? There you go! I did it! Here take it! I think I ended up saying, "uhmmm here .. " She took it. But I noticed she still had gloves on.

Then I was handed an envelope.

"One more thing", she said. "We'll need a stool sample. All the instructions are in the packet with a self addressed envelope to mail the samples in."

I was intrigued, "Oh, this is much different, usually they ask for samples in the big jars." No idea why I wanted to discuss my previous stool sample experiences with her but it came out.

"Oh yes, those test more items, the ones you are doing tests for things like blood in stool etc." She then laughs, "The other ones are fun aren't they? Remember what your mama told chu when you were young? Uh huhhhh.. don't play with those!"

I cracked up laughing. Who knew talking about stool samples can be so much fun.

Do You Think We Are Deaf!!!!!!

2006-10-08T21:47:00.000-04:00

All these networks are now showing episodes of prime time TV shows on the web. I love it. There's limited commercials and the quality is decent. The best perk is that it's on demand. You can watch the missed episodes whenever you want. TiVo watch out. But for crying out loud does, the freaking commercials have to turn up the volume enough to shake the windows? Good God!!! Yo commercial people listen up! Your viewing audience for the most part are not hard of hearing and if you think by ruining our ear drums are going to persuade us from buying your product, you are dead wrong.

Do you know what I do when the commercials come on? I move my little mouse as fast as I can to the mute button so that I can turn off the offending noise and then I switch focus to my other browser windows until the commercials are over.

So please, if you actually want the viewers to watch the dam clips, make it so that at least it's bearable to be in the same room when they are playing.

Sex and Food

2006-10-06T23:25:00.000-04:00

Daytime job was almost nonexistent today. My mind was just not on looking at XML and troubleshooting, thus the day ended quite early for me - 5ish. Then began the 2 hour cooking session. Been out of practice with cooking and this time I really wanted to make some good dishes to treat my cousin and her hubby. I wasn't disappointed. Two hours and many cutting, chopping, stirring, frying, and washing, later I had an island full of dishes.

Dinner was great but wayyy to much food. Very little self control, we humans are. The more food that's available the more we feel the need to eat. I was punished for the gluttony I was still feeling full hours later. But interesting topics came up during dinner. I forgot how we got on the subject but ooh.. wait I remember, I mentioned that I saw Pornocoupia, a HBO late night 'documentary', on HBO last night. That then spawned a whole slew of interesting discussions from how much porno video stars make to size of a man's mini-me.

'Documentary' or not, I was very surprised by several things while watching:
1 - Porno video stars can make up to 10k a month. Wholly crap!!
2 - Another thing that stood out (heheh) well is that during the porn clips, I mean 'documentary', you only see full nudity of the women and not the men. Even though they show some serious intimate closeups but the men's member is always blocked out strategically, say by someone's head, a setting prop, cameras etc..
3 - Most of the women they interviewed are very forthcoming and funny. One of the best line from the episode was '... on the set everyone is waiting for lunch .. ' in the context of the conversation on how the pressure is on the men. They really need to perform on the spot to not delay everyone else.
4 - There's a whole community of people selling webcast subscriptions of home-made porn and making six figures a year! Wholly crap again! Isn't that illegal?

Anyways.... food and sex, they do seem to go together right?

No Bites

2006-10-04T05:23:00.000-04:00

Kinda disappointed that no new employers or headhunters viewed my resume. The count still remains at 3 ladies and gentlemen.

Work was not particular productive today. I started out at 10 am due to sleeping late last night. Then the weather was so nice that I ran around the house opening all the windows to let the cold air out. Yes, let the freezing cold air out of the house in exchange for perhaps the last pleasant warm breeze of the season. Mid afternoon I read about 2 more uber fictions from the top 25 list of the week. Then I really got restless so it was an hour walk with pit stop at the library. Came back did maybe 20 minutes of work and it was time to cook.

Let's just say the best concoction I made tonight was the fruit yogurt smoothie. Loosing my chef's skills there from lack of cooking in the past 4 months.

At 9:30, the brainstorming weekly session kicked off. We came up with some good ideas but to my dismay most of the ones I though of were already implemented. Darn them!!!!!!! Others require substantial time and money, something none of us has right now.. so the search continues.

Sometime between 2 am and 3 am, I heard the song Everything by Lifehouse (heck, look at that, there's a fan site for a song..) playing from my iTunes. Must have been a freebie at some point. Immediately, scenes from Xena played back in my head. "This is a great song for a Xena video!!!", my inner voice glees. So I had to print the lyrics out and listened to it again to jot down notes for my future production of a Xena video. Perhaps I can submit it into the contest and get some recognition.. but that's if I ever get around to making the dam thing.

Afterwards, I listed to more Lifehouse songs and had the urge to play my guitar to the music. I don't know how to pay the guitar, but still, strumming along..

And that's how I end up sleeping at 5ish in the morning.

More School Shootings?

2006-10-02T23:22:00.000-04:00

What the F@!K is going on in this world!!? Another shooting in schools and this time the victims little girls were shot execution style. What is wrong with these people!
This past weeks has just been one shooting after one another on school grounds.. is anyone else concerned that psychos are now using schools as butcher shops?

Gun control.. that's one thing that comes to mind. Will the law makers pass stricter laws around owning guns or obtaining them? Will we now have the schools in lock down mode or post guards to keep out crazies?

Will the kids ever feel safe in public places again? What about that room where the carnage took place? How will they treat it who would want to ever step into that room again?

This world we live in contains some really messed up people.

Resume Now Public in Monster

2006-10-01T05:14:00.000-04:00

Finally! Good golly! For crying out loud! Yeeeeehhhhhaaaa!!!!!!! The sanitized version of my resume is now loaded for public search on Monster!

That only took like 4 years to do. Pathetic.. but it's done. I don't know if I can go through another round of fine tuning the 1 page history of my career. Let's see today is Sunday now.. 5 am in the morning, but I feel accomplished. Wonder how many "bites" will I get on Monday? 0? 1? 100?

After going through your own resume writing process, I think one can't help but to gain a profound admiration for those who can weave beautifully scripted words to highlight their strong points on a piece of paper. I wonder what's the going rate for professional resume writers? What would that be like? To have a job just to work on people's resumes? Would you develop a set of words or phrases that are general enough for each category of professions?

Burr.. It's getting cold.. can't wait to get under the covers. Maybe it's time to pile on the 2nd blanket.. toasty.. that's a good feeling. Toasty.

Perseverance Pays Off

2006-09-28T23:06:00.000-04:00

This morning started out great.

I woke up around 8:30 am and felt restless. Haven't been out of the house for couple days now and I am way overdue for a walk/jog. After the bladder letting, I put on my tennis shoes and head out to great the brisk morning air. The sun was out and moving steadily towards 12, perfect. A few minutes of walking then I started my slow but nonetheless jog around the neighborhood. My lungs thanked me for breathing in fresh air. After a good 40 minutes of cardio, I came back to even better news.

The medical clinic called me back! It turned out that after the gastroenterologist reviewed the 20+ pages of medical records I faxed last week, he has decided to take my dad's case and set him up with an endoscopy to check out my father's recovery progress!

Awesome! Perseverance pays off and it never hurts to try. Sometimes, human kindness surprises us. Good surprise, definitely good.

Way Too Relaxed

2006-09-28T01:08:00.000-04:00

I just realized that it's been over a year since I started this blog. Happy blogannsery!! Yeahhhh... happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy.

Now that celebration is done, back to the present. I actually went out this last couple of weekends. It's dangerous to lead a normal weekend life. Why? Cuz it spills out to the weekdays. For the last 2 weeks, I've been a total slacker in both work and personal items to get done. Like balancing accounts, finish writing resume, call relatives, and call grandma. Bad very bad. I just feel so lazy and look at the freaking time! It's only 1 AM!! What the hell is happening.

TV and soap occupied most of my time. There's just too many shows available over the internet these days, I don't even need to move an inch to watch my fav shows now. Click click click, launch.. and viola, it's on my LCD screen.

Weather's been turning colder.. hmmm maybe that's one of the reasons I am feeling so lethargic.. maybe I am cold blooded and like snakes I need to just lay and rest. Walking has dwindled to like 2x a week. Burrr.. instead I've started to do situps with twists too. The bulging stomach will be reigned in.

Look at me, I look like a racoon. But why won't I just go to bed? I should just go to bed.

Brain Storming Sessions Kickoff

2006-09-26T23:18:00.000-04:00

Tonight was the first (hopefully weekly) brain storming session. There are 4 of us total and all at one time co-workers.

Communication was taken care of using:

Voice conference: conference phone number
Document sharing: www.writely.com

Hopefully we'll be able to move off conference number and move to using either Skype or Yahoo Messenger as soon as the conference plugin is released.

For the first session, I thought we did fairly well. In that one hour, several ideas were thrown out and constructive arguments were made. Nice. The goal of these sessions is that we all want to do something on the side (for now) while keeping a day job. Hopefully we'll be able to come up with some viable business venture ideas.

Gooooooooo brains!

Little Miss Sunshine

2006-09-23T01:18:00.000-04:00

We decided to use our free movie tickets on Little Miss Sunshine after seeing the rare 90+ rating on RottenTomatoes. The movie gotta be at least decent to go watch right?

Little Miss Sunshine is about a family and all those ups and downs that binds us together. We can call them dysfunctional, troubled, or down on their luck, or maybe just a dramatized version of the average family unit on earth. We got the rebellious teenager, the old crazy grandpa, the innocent little one, the embarrassing family relative, the dad who has to spew out wisdom in every single sentence, and the mom whose just trying to keep sane.

The ball (or car, you'll see) starts rolling when the little girl finds out that she's a finalist in a beauty pageant. The entire family piles into the old van and off they go towards the competition in California. What can happen when you pile 6 very different individuals across different generations into a confined space?

A lot.

It's a good movie with some scenes that'll cause you to laugh and snort. Another dramady. Well.. I would say slightly more comedy than drama so make that comdrama.

Invincible

2006-09-20T23:54:00.000-04:00

Thanks to American Express Membership giveaways, I was able to watch Invincible tonight with my free ticket. Watching a movie on a week night definitely has its perks.
1 - The entire theatre is practically yours.
2 - No big heads in front of you.
3 - No obnoxious people talking throughout the movie.

Back to the movie...

Invincible is based on the life of Vince Papale. Director Ericson Core took his time telling the story of how a 30-year old devout fan of Philadelphia Eagles went from watching the game to playing on the field. I liked that. Most sports movies these days are more about giving more screen time to the action on the field rather than allowing the audience to learn and hopefully care for the characters.

Like most Disney movies, there's a underlying theme of the human spirit (whether it's depicted through animated animals or humans), which makes these movies feel good movies and entertaining to watch. Mark Wahlberg is really wise in his pick of roles. His acting is sincere and genuine and you find yourself rooting for the man, chanting, don't listen to others, you can do it.

Now couple of things that caught my attention. First the opening credits. It's been so long since I've see the Magic Kingdom splashed on the big screen. When it came up with the shooting star, I couldn't help to let out a little "yeahh! Disney!" Disney make more films!!

Second, the music and montage of life in southern Philly during the 70s was very well done. It established genera, pace of life and struggles during the time all by the time the 3 - 5 minute song was over. Brilliant.

Last, the first scene that introduces Vince and his pals as they watch a dismal game up on the stadium benches. It's a snowy day and obviously cold but I don't see no frosty air as Vince chatted with his friends! That was quite a distraction for me for at least good 5 minutes.

Good movie. If you like character development, Invincible did a great job.

dirty filthy love

2006-09-18T01:45:00.000-04:00

My tears are still drying as I write this entry, but I've got a smile on my face.

I've just finished watching one of the best DVDs that I've rented in a long while - dirty filthy love, thanks to the recommendation of the local Blockbuster employee. Sorry to disappoint some but this is not a porno flick.

This film revolves around a man named Mark played by Michael Sheen. We discover along with Mark that he has OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and also Tourette syndrome through the help of Charlotte (played by Shirley Henderson).

The film gives the audience a look-see into Mark's struggle with the disorder and his attempts to get his wife back. The director, Adrian Shergold, along with the two leading actors are fantastic. It's one of those movies that makes you cry one second but can't help to bust out laughing the next knowing very well you shouldn't be laughing.

It's a film that provokes emotions. Brilliantly acted and brilliantly directed.

A story well told. Rent it.

Freshmen at College

2006-09-17T22:26:00.000-04:00

Remember what it was like? That very first year where you meet so many different strangers whose lives will cross yours for the next 4 years of your lives?

Quite a change, at least for me. Coming from a small, mostly white town to a 40,000 undergrad state university was an experience for me. That first year I met friends who are still my friends 10 years later. That first year I also found others who were just like me. It was the year to explore so many different things and reaffirm others. Such as my distaste for rowdy places or to get drunk. Alcohol in the blood stream never had the tipsy affect on me. It just puts me to bed.

A refresher down memory lane came tonight while I was chatting with younger, distant cousins. It's their first month in college and gauging from their responses, sounds like overall they are having a great time as well. Good for them.. Freshmen year was the most memorable and my most cherished year out of the 5 years I was at school. All the others were just a blur, labs after labs, sleeping in the labrooms, sleeping on the common room benches.. and a heck of a lot of frustration and swearing, and then came the awful coffee incident that prompts me to politely reject coffee offers.

Goodbye Note

2006-09-14T22:42:00.000-04:00

This morning started out great!

I received a goodbye note from a fellow co-worker who will soon be leaving the company. Since it's his goodbye note, I am not going to paste the whole thing in .. but the gist of it is that he had better days being hit by cars than traveling cross country to perform validation tasks.

HA!!!! I bursted out laughing and banged the table it was that good. Awesome goodbye note. Well I guess he's never planning to come back to work for big blue or at least not the current division.

hehe.. *sigh* when will I write mine? Even when I do write mine it won't be as funny cuz I am not planning to burn any bridges. Hmmm on second thought, will I ever come back to work once I leave? Probably not.... hm still.. probably better just to keep my sarcastic remarks to myself in the official goodbye e-mails. Chicken!!!! I know.

What's Your Dream?

2006-09-13T23:32:00.000-04:00

Lucas Rossi, for those of you non Rockstar Supernova fans out there, is the ex-Hooters employee turned super rockstar as announced in the season finale.

What's your dream? Lucas got his. Who knew with his porcupine hairdo, eye shadowed (sometimes glittery) eyes, his signature raspy, a lot of times indecipherable voice will win over the voters and the band members. Lucas got the edge alright and he can sing! I have to say I did enjoy his performances the most, just fun to watch him, with his crazy dance and expressions.

Favorite performance by Lucas is week 7, his rendition of Hero. Now that's a song for Batman!

There's not many other countries in the world that allows one to propel from a restaurant worker status to instant super stardom. Only in America.. Only in America..

Elvish Sideburns

2006-09-09T23:18:00.000-04:00

It's been more than a month, maybe even 2 months since I last received a haircut. So a trip into Flushing, NY it is. A train, a subway, and an hour and a half later, I arrived in Flushing and headed up to my usual haircut place to see Gary - the haircut guy. He didn't earn the right to be addressed as a hair stylist and never will, not from me at least.

The place wasn't that crowded today so the assistant spent at least half an hour washing my hair. It was starting to hurt before she took me to the rinse station. Thirty minutes later, I ended up with the same haircut I get every, freaking, single time! Gary has no creative abilities when it comes to styling a look. I ended up looking 25 years younger, not particularly a fitting look when I am approaching my 30th birthday. Along with the short bangs, I also got a pair of elvishly long sideburns/bangs. Lovely.

The rest of the day turned out much better. A friend met me at Flushing Mall foodcourt where we giggled like animated Japanese girls when we smelled the familiar food and saw boards of neon lit menus. The feeding frenzy continued for about 2 hours until we were stuffed and can eat no more.

Parted in the afternoon, I headed to visit elder family friends. I was treated to a homey casual dinner and in return they found my lack of sports understanding unbelievable.

On the train ride back, I finally got to the last chapter of my most recent reading, trying to understand where is the next energy boom. Whoooohooo! Overall a very productive day. Oh, and did I mention it was gorgeous weather?

Power of the People - Power of a Fan Base

2006-09-08T23:16:00.000-04:00

Don't ever under estimate the power of the people.

We got a first hand look at the power of a fan base on the FOX Celebrity Duets results show tonight with the surprising elimination of Lea Thompson as the next celebrity to get booted off the show.

Come on! She was definitely a better singer than Cheech Marin and Carly Patterson. But the fans of the other 2 celebrities voted and Lea's supporters didn't. That or she didn't have much of a fan base to begin with. By the way did Lea Thompson looked like she was about to cry when she was kicked into the bottom three or was it just me?

Like I keep saying, the executive producers of Fox's Celebrity Duets is smart. They went after the gay population this time. Casting 3 gay icons on the show, Fox is going after viewers not quality. We can all be honest here. The singing and content caliber is no competition for CBS's Rock Star Supernova, but what the heck it's for charity they are not signing the singers after the shows. So with todays results, this confirms my belief that Lucy Lawless, the Xena warrior princess will be one of the last ones to be kicked off the show. Yep, mark my words. The fan base for Xena/Lucy is GIGANTOUS. Xena the show, inspired thousands of uber fan fiction and it's still going. As a side bar, Lucy Lawless changed her wardrobe strategy today. I have to say it's a much better improvement than the previous form fitting gowns she wore. It made her look like she was in a beauty pageant or something. Tonight she really flaunted it.

Those tassels were just going round and round.. swing baby swing! ya! Hmm.. sorry a bit of Austin Power just slipped in.

Anyways, where was I, oh yes. The loyalty of followers should not be overlooked in any fashion or form. Even though Lucy Lawless is not the best singer on the show, what do I care. She's Xena, and Xena will get the votes. Life ain't fair so stop the bitchin. What would make Celebrity Duets even sillier and more transparent as the real viewer hoarder as it is now, is to have casted Patrick Stewart.

Who cares if Captain Jean-Luc Picard can sing or not!

He can be rehearsing his lines and I am willing to wager that Trekkie fans will still vote for him! Hell Captain Picard might actually win the show!

It basically comes down to loyalty/image doesn't it, for choosing one thing over the other. Grocery shopping is a good example. How many of us will walk down the cereal isle and go for the brand name boxes instead of the generic grocery store versions of the same cereal?

Bridging The Distance With Google Talk

2006-09-05T23:11:00.000-04:00

Hey I did something productive today -- teaching my mom how to use Google Talk to talk to my aunt overseas. Now that's an accomplishment!

Ever since I signed on with Voiceral, I've been doing 3 way calling between parents and relatives overseas. Saves money and the call quality is much better than phonecards. But as soon as I got my mom connected with my aunt tonight, she's like "well we are good now, don't need you as our bridge anymore!" Ha!

It's all good they can talk for as long as they like. Technology can be such a wonderful thing. Now...only if I can setup my grandma with a laptop.. now that would be cool..

The Crocodile Hunter Has Fallen

2006-09-04T20:12:00.000-04:00

On my drive back from Maryland, I heard on the radio the unbelievable news of Steve Irwin, better known as "The Crocodile Hunter" died from a stingray barb piercing his heart.

What a freak accident. I am genuinely saddened by the news. I liked watching Steve Irwin's show. Althought he can be a bit over the top sometimes, but that's what makes his show different from others and it was educational and entertaining at the same time. I think like many of his fans, we have learned a lot about our fellow creatures through Steve.

He lived his life doing what he loves and probably has no regrets. But to die from a stingray and esp pierced in the heart is a especially rare, freak thing to have happened. My thoughts goes out to his wife and two young kids.

Thank you Steve Irwin for bringing forth the magnificent creatures that live amongst us. You'll be missed.

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth

2006-08-28T23:26:00.000-04:00

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth
by T. Harv Eker

I finished the latter half of this book at the library before I returned it with a late fee. But it's the library. I don't mind paying late fees for it. So on with the review...

Come on! I don't believe you if you said you said you never wondered about how the rich got rich. Not even a little curious? Yah right. So I admit it. I saw the title of the book and decided why not, give a whirl. The book surprised me.

The author had a bit of humor so that's always a good way to engage a variety of readers. What I came to realize is that what all these books about becoming rich are more like self help books. The intent of the book is to make you realize that you can be more than what you are capable of, and that being rich is not a pipe dream reserved only for those that have luck or talent. Not saying the rest of us don't, it's just that most of us is stuck at one of the following stages
1 - we haven't realized our potential
2 - we are scared to get out of our comfort zone
3 - we don't really believe that we can achieve the next level
4 - we are lying to ourselves that money is not important

It's not a thick book to read and it was written in a conversational way. The author is trying to pump up your ego as if you were at one of his seminars (which is not so subtly mentioned every other page).

At the end of the book, you know what? I do have a little more faith in myself! It's amazing how positive reinforcements can affect a person right? Some of the things I learned and which also serves as a summarization of the book:

1 - The key is to believe in yourself.
2 - Truly believe that you can make as much money as the next person and that being rich is not something to be ashamed of. Money is important to achieve the things we want to do.
3 - Need to get out of the comfort zone and dedicate yourself to a goal.
4 - You'll never be rich working for a steady income.
5 - Make your money work for you, invest, buy land.
6 - Your attitude makes a heck a lot of a difference. Think positive, you'll attract positive things. Think negative, you'll be a crap magnet.

Pennsylvania Dutch Buffet

2006-08-26T21:38:00.000-04:00

The planned trip to Shady Maple finally arrived. The time has come for us to step into this building. What is this place? If you can read the writing on the building it says "Shady Maple Banquets". Is it an building for big events? Well sorta. The official claim is that we are about to enter "Lancaster County's LARGEST Smorgasbord".

They weren't kidding. No false advertising there. My friend told me ahead of time it's a big place. This place was humongus! Imagine a Costco's or a BJ's... yep that's how big it was. Shady Maple is a dining place located in East Earl, PA. It serves real PA Dutch foods.. aka.. tastes great but you probably should not eat more than 2 plates type of place.

The restaurant can handle up to 1000 people. Crazy! I have never been to a buffet like this. Lines of food.. and lines of people waiting to devour the lines of food.

The food was good. Hmmm.. briskets.. 2 days later I still feel bloated! I didn't even eat that much!

After the feeding frenzy, we took a walk down to the 20,000 sq ft gift shop right below the restaurant. That's where we spotted the very very scary dolls. I've never liked dolls and this is why I never will.....ewwww.....

"Invictus" - By William Earnest Henley

2006-08-23T21:12:00.000-04:00

While surfing through blog sites, I came up one that introduced me to William Earnest Henley's poem - "Invictus".
I love it. It's simple, yet it riles up the emotions.

"Invictus"

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

Three Months

2006-08-20T13:59:00.000-04:00

Words came to me when I was out walking this morning.

Came back and finished in 2 hours. Here goes:

Three Months

Three months granted indirectly to find myself,
Two months left, as things calmed down.
One month left, as I mingled through blood.
All three gone and I’m still on the same ground.

Three more months, I gave myself.
Three more months to figure things out.
Three more months to make a change.
Three more months to leave this state.

One month gone, as I sat on the bench.
One month gone, as I am thrown back into things.
One more month, the deadline nears.
One more month, until I face my fears.

I am trapped in a time capsule of five or so years
Screaming loud but no one can hear.
I watch as the world goes round and round
Colors red, blue, green and white, cycles about.

Churning, night and day, churning of the mind.
Tick -- , Tock --, time slips by.
Immobilized by the very nature of what makes me
Scared by what I can’t foresee.

In my journal there’s a dialogue, pitting me against me,
A testament of my madness if I let things be.
A complete breakdown is required now
Even if that means shattering to the ground.

I will mend from the many pieces of my ragged, weary self
Start afresh, reconstructed to face new crowds.
Not quite healed I will travel forth,
Destination unknown, and there’s no reverse.

Days left until I do the deed
Days left until I leave it all behind
Days left until I regain what was me
Days left until I am set free.

Stock Spam

2006-08-19T01:45:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how the days just disappears.

Wrapping up this week, I was quite annoyed when I noticed I am getting stock spammed. I was more upset because it was my GMail account! WTF, I mean the reason why created like 8 e-mail accounts is so that I would only have 1 where it's not used by anything else but friends and family, and resumes.

They got to me after all. I never knew about this type of spamming. Apparantly these spammers are a bit sneakier. They use various address and the product they are pushing on you is not in the e-mail content. Instead it's in the form of a GIF attachment. The content of the e-mail is some poetic type of writing.

It's hard to create filters for these spams cuz it's sent from different addresses. Searched online a bit, there doesn't seem to be any legal action victims can take besides forwarding the e-mails to anti-spam sites for them to list and track. But how much that'll do is unknown.

Whoever sold my e-mail out, you suck!

Mt Tammany at the Delaware Water Gap

2006-08-13T23:43:00.000-04:00

This is the best picture, well, best non human picture I should stress (just in case one of my friends is reading this) that I took on this trip.

The weather was absolutely gorgeous. The day started at 6:30 AM. After making sure my other friend is awake, I went about getting ready for the first hike of the summer. Wow, it was the first hike. The drive to the location was not bad at all, about an hour and a half. Beautiful to drive in the morning with little traffic. A lot of people on the road were heading for the mountains as well. Such a day to waste if not to immerse oneself in the great outdoors.

Today's goal was to climb Mt. Tammany via the red trail. The red trail is pretty steep, about say, 30-45 degrees incline and the first leg of it is very rocky. I believe some website said it's about a 30-foot high rock climb. True that. I sure got a workout.

Oh be sure to put on some bug repellant. Even at 10 am in the morning the little gnats were in our face, prehaps looking for leftover breakfast?

Where was I, yes, although it's not a long hike, 1.5 miles up to the peak, the red trail does test your legs and balance. Once you get to the top, which is named the
"Indian Head", you get to see this spectacular view of the Delaware River:

We had our lunch at the top. Enjoyed gabbing with fellow hikers, trading stories, and even had somewhat of a close encounter with 2 black bears.

It was a great day.

The Other Half

2006-08-12T12:12:00.000-04:00

Weddings are abound this time of the year. Yesterday, I was invited to witness another ceremony to put the official seal on commitment between 2 people, and it was a lovely event.

I think yesterday was the first time when I looked at a couple that I see the distinct difference of personalities and a voice popped in my head "She's really good for him."

My friend is or I can happily say that he was a corporate drone like me. Where our lives are run by the invisible corporate puppet master, our daily schedule revolves around requirements and deadlines. But no more, not for him at least. From mutual friends and new acquaintances at the dinner table, I learned and saw more evidences of changes in the groom after he met his now bride. Good for you H!!!! He now leaves work like a normal person, plays soccer, shakes his tush on the dance floor and there's that happiness oozing.

So that's it, magic of love. One powerful element in nature, that can so profoundly change us.

Whiplash

2006-08-10T23:25:00.000-04:00

That's what you'll get if you've been following the market lately. Uppppp Upppp there it goes!!! Then Bam!!! Down 100+.

Been reading a lot more financial blogs lately. The whole dynamics of price movement, psychology of trading, global events, the market ties it all together. Perfect example of how one thing leads to another, cause and effect.

So like many others, why is the market up on days where we have global terrorism threatening our very lives by blowing up planes? Esp the airline stocks? Who the hell knows.

My guess is that either America is very much in denial or that Americans are saying screw you all, we are going to live our lives the way we want, who knows what tomorrow will bring, so we'll keep buying houses that are way out of our budget, keep driving our SUVs across the 50 states, we've got to eat, our kids have to go to school.. so there! Live in the moment.

Either way, sure makes the market interesting.

It's All Coming Back ..... And Out

2006-08-10T00:31:00.000-04:00

Do you ever remember a meal?

Well, I am getting not so subtle reminders of my feeding frenzy over Popeyes chicken bucket from 2 days ago. In fact, I think I had anal leakage of chicken fat. Yes, if you think it's gross reading about it, imagine sitting in the bathroom smelling it, with it leaking out of your body orifice. It is true that if you mostly eat a vegetarian diet, once you eat meat or oily stuff, you'll know the difference. Proof is in the pudding, if you know what I mean.

Nasty.

Other random thoughts.. Stopped by blockbuster during my late night walk and what I saw there mildly surprised me. Have you checked out your local Blockbuster lately? Do you see the increase in the number of Japanese horror flicks!! And what's more surprising is the Japanese anime section.

Soon, someone will catch on to that Asians love to watch soap. I am just wondering which one will it be, Blockbuster or Netflix, to nab the Asian soaps.

Yuck, still tasting the chicken grease coming up my throat.. that teaches me to binge on fried food.

I just found out about AIM Phoneline, the free internet phone service from AIM. So the deal is that you get to pick a local phone number that others can call. The call goes through AIM program and alerts you when someone is calling. Click to answer and viola, you got phone service through your fav headset. So far, pretty happy with the quality.